Talk about payback. Looks like he get MORE than even. This story was HOT!!
by
Anonymous12/20/10
I liked it to say the least.
I've enjoyed your stories, mostly the beginnings and middle parts. This ones' ending seemed abit rushed with everyone accepting the whole incest without a background, though in my opinion, you can never go wrong with a good orgy.
Thanks for the thoughts, however I can't figure out why you read anything on this site since 85 to 90% of it isn't to your liking! To bad you can't handle the '7 ropes of cum', which you think is impossible. Although I don't possess a 12 inch cock, I quite often pump out the impossible 7 ropes. Maybe I'll try to write a short tale special for you where the guy has a 3 in dick and has huge explosions of five drops of cum. On second thought, I think I'll pass on that one. Sorry you didn't like my little excursion into fantasy land and all the best to you in your search for a good read.
by
Anonymous01/05/11
.
Can't handle criticism even if it's unwarranted, huh? That's the mentality of a 20 yr old.
i thought it was great had me hard from beginning to end....keep the stories coming
by
Anonymous02/21/12
Great except for the end....
Story was pretty good but I don't like the end where all of a sudden everyone starts fucking...incest should be taboo and you just jumped to it....the guy should have cuckolded the rest of the guys from his family....
Your story is great, I loved it. It would have been more interesting if he had sex with the three women in different ways and not "Oups I mistook the bags" three times but it works anyway.
But your ending sucks. He cuckholds the three men and then "orgy". What's the point of the revenge here? You should have stopped before that. That way we don't know what happen next but we can imagine.
Funny thing, I rather liked reading this story, however I did not find it erotic in the least. The premiss is somewhat implausable, ie none of the women could tell it wasn't their man. But hey it's a fantasy, easy to overlook. But, as poster "littledick" said: '... the orgy at the end negates the whole revenge aspect.' Maybe he could have thrown it in the men's faces as he leaves or such... But hey your story, not mine. do whatEVER you want.
Ps. I esp liked that his mom is the one who DID figure it out. ;)
Funny, I feel the same for my hair. Only I can touch it, the last time someone tried to they almost lost a finger. Seriously, They thought it would be funny to be an ass and snip a piece off that is until I rip the clippers from them and cut their finger to the bone. They never touched me or my hair again.
I kind of agree, the orgy at the end negates the getting revenge part. I also don't see how the women didn't know it wasn't their husband right away. How would the cock be that much bigger because they were on a camping trip? Also the stamina should have given him away. Still a good read.
Unrealistic, Absurd, and a Great Funny and Sexy Read
Nothing realistic, no plot, just great fun and great sex. 5*
by
Anonymous04/07/14
re:unicorn it wasn't the camping that would've made them bigger
The camping jyst happens to be where it takes place. The reason they may or may not have thought logically about the size is because they were inebriated.. but either way a decent story
was a great story with getting back at dad and brothers by banging there spouses but the orgy at the end was not what i expected or wouldve thought that getting back at them with a orgy would have been better leaving that out but wouldve been sweet if he knocked them alll up at the same time keep up the good writing
Yes, it was unrealistic..... but damn was it hot........
You could make up for the unrealistic part by arranging a gigantic orgy and inviting us all to it? Then you would have a blockbuster story to tell...... Or maybe you'd prefer to film it?
by
Anonymous10/28/14
Another stupid orgy ending.
It almost didn't matter this time as it was such an unlikely concept that all three women would be fooled by such a lame sleeping bag switcheroo stunt until he slipped and said the word mom. It would have been more entertaining if he'd come up with an original revenge scenario for each couple even if it was sex-related each time - of course. Instead, we got the same nightly scene three times nearly word for word, right down to the silly-string "ropes of come" that he produces on demand.
Yeah , I get that it's all a fantasy and you were just going for a laugh with some of the details but the whole family just easily falling into a swingers' orgy without even one objection is getting really predictable now. I could've just laughed it off as a sexy comedy farce until the orgy from nowhere. Next time, surprise your readers and leave the orgy for its own story and just do your brother/sister or mother loving stories without that ending.
The orgy wasn't my favorite part either but I didn't write the story If you want reality turn on the tv and watch the news.
by
Anonymous05/27/15
watered down
really really good until the end. Obviously the family hadn't been into orgies or incest before since the ladies waited every night until dark and their husbands were asleep to try to fuck them. Then comes Chad. Of course, the girls finding him out was inevitable sinc he marked them all. But all of a sudden, everybody is fucking everybody and everybody is cool with it. This just screws up a really good story. It would have been cliche', but more believable, if all of the women had come home from the trip pregnant.
by
Anonymous10/27/15
too bad - so sad
Gotta agree with almost everyone. Great until the orgy scene. 'S ok that the women all find him out. The one thats been trying to get preggie should've done. But the 'All in the Family' skinny dip and orgy should've been left out and another way figured out for the women to get it together and figure it out. Maybe when they're getting dressed after a swim. The other guys need to remain clueless and believe that the 'panty waist' never got them back. And after all, the boys get deployed and the wives get royally fucked, mom gets more dick and less attitude than she has had in years, and our hero manages to avoid the clutches of marriage for awhile longer. The last remaining form of legal slavery. Yep, shoud've been no orgy scene and so I had to give a five star story a three star.
I gave this a "5" star rating, but it doesn't deserve it. I just like your stories. Thing is, you have a real talent for screwing up the ending to a good story. You did it with "Burn Baby Burn" also. You have got to get over the idea that an incest story (or any other kind of story) needs to end up in an all out orgy. It doesn't unless it really contributes to the flow of the tale. This wasn't even an ending, you just kind of let it peter out when people are beginning to be unhappy with him again. It becomes stale and too complicated with too many people screwing too many people, when it started with just Ryan screwing all the family women for revenge and finally finding his place in the family. The substitute "Husband" to fill in for the various males who weren't getting the job done. I'm kind of going off of your stuff for awhile.
sort of ruins the flow of the story and gets really yucky with everyone screwing everyone else. If you can come up with endings that fit the general flow then they will be a much better read.
I did really enjoy the majority of the story though.
by
Anonymous10/21/16
You ruined the ending
As several others have already said, you ruined the ending
English
...DAMN!
Talk about payback. Looks like he get MORE than even. This story was HOT!!
I liked it to say the least.
I've enjoyed your stories, mostly the beginnings and middle parts. This ones' ending seemed abit rushed with everyone accepting the whole incest without a background, though in my opinion, you can never go wrong with a good orgy.
I hope he doesn't get married or his girlfriend refuses the fathers advances
I think you are mistaken, that cannot be the end.
Such a great storyline, begs to be continued.
Please consider it.
Lame
7 ropes of cum god all you needed to put in was the 12 in cock and it would have been like 90% of the stories as it is it is like 85% of them.
Just a note to absolom75
Thanks for the thoughts, however I can't figure out why you read anything on this site since 85 to 90% of it isn't to your liking! To bad you can't handle the '7 ropes of cum', which you think is impossible. Although I don't possess a 12 inch cock, I quite often pump out the impossible 7 ropes. Maybe I'll try to write a short tale special for you where the guy has a 3 in dick and has huge explosions of five drops of cum. On second thought, I think I'll pass on that one. Sorry you didn't like my little excursion into fantasy land and all the best to you in your search for a good read.
.
Can't handle criticism even if it's unwarranted, huh? That's the mentality of a 20 yr old.
more
i thought it was great had me hard from beginning to end....keep the stories coming
Great except for the end....
Story was pretty good but I don't like the end where all of a sudden everyone starts fucking...incest should be taboo and you just jumped to it....the guy should have cuckolded the rest of the guys from his family....
No orgy please
Your story is great, I loved it. It would have been more interesting if he had sex with the three women in different ways and not "Oups I mistook the bags" three times but it works anyway.
But your ending sucks. He cuckholds the three men and then "orgy". What's the point of the revenge here? You should have stopped before that. That way we don't know what happen next but we can imagine.
Well...
Funny thing, I rather liked reading this story, however I did not find it erotic in the least. The premiss is somewhat implausable, ie none of the women could tell it wasn't their man. But hey it's a fantasy, easy to overlook. But, as poster "littledick" said: '... the orgy at the end negates the whole revenge aspect.' Maybe he could have thrown it in the men's faces as he leaves or such... But hey your story, not mine. do whatEVER you want.
Ps. I esp liked that his mom is the one who DID figure it out. ;)
Sorry, my bad.
I meant "Littleprick", not "littledick".
Haha
Funny, I feel the same for my hair. Only I can touch it, the last time someone tried to they almost lost a finger. Seriously, They thought it would be funny to be an ass and snip a piece off that is until I rip the clippers from them and cut their finger to the bone. They never touched me or my hair again.
VERY GOOD STORY
I would love to read more of this story
Fantastic
Look forward to any follow ups
I kind of agree, the orgy at the end negates the getting revenge part. I also don't see how the women didn't know it wasn't their husband right away. How would the cock be that much bigger because they were on a camping trip? Also the stamina should have given him away. Still a good read.
fantastic read.
you should continue this story.
Unrealistic, Absurd, and a Great Funny and Sexy Read
Nothing realistic, no plot, just great fun and great sex. 5*
re:unicorn it wasn't the camping that would've made them bigger
The camping jyst happens to be where it takes place. The reason they may or may not have thought logically about the size is because they were inebriated.. but either way a decent story
not bad
was a great story with getting back at dad and brothers by banging there spouses but the orgy at the end was not what i expected or wouldve thought that getting back at them with a orgy would have been better leaving that out but wouldve been sweet if he knocked them alll up at the same time keep up the good writing
Yes, it was unrealistic..... but damn was it hot........
You could make up for the unrealistic part by arranging a gigantic orgy and inviting us all to it? Then you would have a blockbuster story to tell...... Or maybe you'd prefer to film it?
Another stupid orgy ending.
It almost didn't matter this time as it was such an unlikely concept that all three women would be fooled by such a lame sleeping bag switcheroo stunt until he slipped and said the word mom. It would have been more entertaining if he'd come up with an original revenge scenario for each couple even if it was sex-related each time - of course. Instead, we got the same nightly scene three times nearly word for word, right down to the silly-string "ropes of come" that he produces on demand.
Yeah , I get that it's all a fantasy and you were just going for a laugh with some of the details but the whole family just easily falling into a swingers' orgy without even one objection is getting really predictable now. I could've just laughed it off as a sexy comedy farce until the orgy from nowhere. Next time, surprise your readers and leave the orgy for its own story and just do your brother/sister or mother loving stories without that ending.
Sad
Started off well, survived to the middle, turned to garbage by the end.
If Ryan had stayed one up on everyone it might have been OK. The family orgy ending was a serious disappointment.
Someone will always snivel
The orgy wasn't my favorite part either but I didn't write the story If you want reality turn on the tv and watch the news.
watered down
really really good until the end. Obviously the family hadn't been into orgies or incest before since the ladies waited every night until dark and their husbands were asleep to try to fuck them. Then comes Chad. Of course, the girls finding him out was inevitable sinc he marked them all. But all of a sudden, everybody is fucking everybody and everybody is cool with it. This just screws up a really good story. It would have been cliche', but more believable, if all of the women had come home from the trip pregnant.
too bad - so sad
Gotta agree with almost everyone. Great until the orgy scene. 'S ok that the women all find him out. The one thats been trying to get preggie should've done. But the 'All in the Family' skinny dip and orgy should've been left out and another way figured out for the women to get it together and figure it out. Maybe when they're getting dressed after a swim. The other guys need to remain clueless and believe that the 'panty waist' never got them back. And after all, the boys get deployed and the wives get royally fucked, mom gets more dick and less attitude than she has had in years, and our hero manages to avoid the clutches of marriage for awhile longer. The last remaining form of legal slavery. Yep, shoud've been no orgy scene and so I had to give a five star story a three star.
awful ending
Decent until the ending, it's like a literotica version of a bored author saying "Screw it, rocks fall, everybody dies".
The story became pointless
The orgy destroyed the whole premise, it's not really revenge if none of them mind sharing and fucking each other.
Poor ending
Suck fuck, suck fuck... That's what all you got
VERY poor ending
very nice till the fucking group sex. sooo he got EVEN with NO ONE! what a wimp chuck...
You really know how to ruin a ending
horrible ending
fived it
I gave this a "5" star rating, but it doesn't deserve it. I just like your stories. Thing is, you have a real talent for screwing up the ending to a good story. You did it with "Burn Baby Burn" also. You have got to get over the idea that an incest story (or any other kind of story) needs to end up in an all out orgy. It doesn't unless it really contributes to the flow of the tale. This wasn't even an ending, you just kind of let it peter out when people are beginning to be unhappy with him again. It becomes stale and too complicated with too many people screwing too many people, when it started with just Ryan screwing all the family women for revenge and finally finding his place in the family. The substitute "Husband" to fill in for the various males who weren't getting the job done. I'm kind of going off of your stuff for awhile.
I agree about the ending
sort of ruins the flow of the story and gets really yucky with everyone screwing everyone else. If you can come up with endings that fit the general flow then they will be a much better read.
I did really enjoy the majority of the story though.
You ruined the ending
As several others have already said, you ruined the ending
Yup
Incredibly bad ending! Epic!
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