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Better
Your story took a little more reasoned direction. One flaw, the smoky fires will lead him right to her camp.
nice beginning
like the way the story line is going...keep up the good work. i'm awaiting the next chapter.
have a safe and happy holiday
the story is shaping up nicely
i am really enjoying the story and think it is shaping up to be a very entertaining tale . i can not wait for the next chapter
happy holidays
Nitpick :-)
Isn't the story supposed to take place on an alien planet? Why are there DEER there? It would make much more sense to have some alien creatures (that may be deer-sized), as there are no settlers there who could have introduced deer from Earth.
Read the first part and you'll see it says that they aren't deer, she simply calls them deer because that is what they resemble and her mother's way of thinking was why make up a new name when there is already one available.
very good
a great begining.I read your bio and sad to see you dont write on this site anymore.this is the second time I have read this story and think its one of the best.hope to read more of you stories in the future. ron usa
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