by sexy_mama_09
Decent idea shot down by shitty writing.
Choppy sentences, silly dialogue, and oh, do you have spellcheck turned off intentionally, or do you just ignore it? Their, not thier.
Recommendation #2: editor
Recommendation #1: stop writing
if you wish to denigrate something or some one, have the balls to at least use a lit name, otherwise all you are cowards. if you post something then comment on writing, if not brave enough to try fine, but at least name your self