you don't have to make it longer ( of course I would love to read more though ) !! Update soon. Great start.
by
Anonymous12/30/10
Actually, a little longer would be better.
It's a great start, the best I've seen in quite a while, but at least two pages would allow the readers to get into the story a bit more. Otherwise, I'll still read, but will wait until you post two chapters.
by
Anonymous01/13/11
Still promising
Find that editor and continue. Putting you on account and giving you another five star rating. :)
how dare he expect her to fix him? what an ass! he yells at her too and acts like she's wrong. She's supposed to forgive this and notice he says help me from effing up which isn't in the past tense. don't like jason. don't see any redeeming qualities. It sounds like most of their relationship has been bad.
English
Too short
Make it longer
Just right
Don't make it longer.
(And a very nice start!)
just right like previous person said
you don't have to make it longer ( of course I would love to read more though ) !! Update soon. Great start.
Actually, a little longer would be better.
It's a great start, the best I've seen in quite a while, but at least two pages would allow the readers to get into the story a bit more. Otherwise, I'll still read, but will wait until you post two chapters.
Still promising
Find that editor and continue. Putting you on account and giving you another five star rating. :)
is this guy on crack?
man this guy is fucked up. borderline abuse much? I hope to never be in a situation like this. He needs to grow up and keep his dick in his pants.
I agree..must be crack
how dare he expect her to fix him? what an ass! he yells at her too and acts like she's wrong. She's supposed to forgive this and notice he says help me from effing up which isn't in the past tense. don't like jason. don't see any redeeming qualities. It sounds like most of their relationship has been bad.
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