Sister Knows Best Ch. 01

Learn the language

You need to check out words you obviously don't know how to spell. People don't licvk with their "tong" they use their "tongue."

Otherwise, not too bad.

I gave you 5 Stars, but

reluctantly. You need more build-up. Also, she's a 31 year old HOT virgin? Not really likely.

Keep trying!

Yeah, what they said . . . but I didn't give you five stars. Not much plot, not much build, not much emotion, just sex . . . a 14 year old girl could have written this story. Please don't favor us with a sequel.

It's All Relative

OK story, but not special.
So we have a 19 year old kid and his 31 year old sister. And the sister is a virgin(!) with 36DD boobs ( isn't it ALWAYS that way?). My normal policy is to abandon ship at the mention of DD's, but I soldiered on this time. Regarding the "hot" attached to the 31 year old sister, OF COURSE the sister is hot! EVERY woman is hot to a 19 year old! Come back in three years and see what he thinks after he has chased some REAL hotties! The fact that this virgin sister is hot to trot and ready to jump Bro's bones at the drop of a snowflake did stretch the believability some. It gets a 3.

Very poorly written

Too many spelling and grammar errors made it a hard read.

That was some BJ!!

Wow! Using a set of tongs, and taking so long she was aging! It's a wonder she ever got you of!

Too funny

not credible at all. Keep on writing you might get it one of these days.

Spelling errors galore

"After I sat down on the bed she let her thong come down and took of her bra. Her huge tits came out and her big pink nipples were a view I couldn't resist. Her pussy was shaven. All but one strip that came down to her clit. After giving me a look she got her knees again blushing by how hot I obviously thought she looked."

she took OFF her bra. Her nipples were a view? How about a SIGHT? And she got her knees again blushing? I think that's more likely "she got on her knees. She blushed again from noticing how lustfully I was looking back at her."

There are many times you wrote "of" instead of "off," "tong" instead of "tongue"

A 31-year-old virgin, huh?

So the sister is 31 years old and a virgin, but willing to give it all up to her brother without any sort of prompting or seduction? Either she is completely insane, not actually a virgin, or not nearly as hot as you make her out to be.

That was where the story lost appeal to me. As soon as you started with the sex your spelling and grammar went out the window. Try proofreading without breaking to masturbate over your own story next time.

I can't stand stories that don't even get to the sex before the end of the first chapter. Unless one possesses the gift for characterization and description that you do not, a blow job is not all that exciting. Give us a sizzling sex scene or don't bother submitting your story. I hate it when the writers tease us and end the story, especially because 2/3 of them never continue and there's hundreds of lame-duck stories littering the website.

"Tong" rhymes with 'dong' but...

..."tongue...' rhymes with DUNG which is where your writing & SPELLING is headed. Wise up.

sister

is the sister ment to be 21? Because that will make more sense.