Where the Grass is Greener

Nice Conceit!

I love the extended metaphor (a conceit) for infidelity. The language is a little starchy but a solid effort.

*

Beyond the paths I’ve worn to fit my feet,
Beyond the groves of joy that grew so dense,
Beyond my fruit that thrives in balmy heat?

Interesting, tricolon is that the term leading to the volta, maybe overkill
the problem with sonnets is you raise the bar, you go up against giants
and this is a great line
But measure my home field's fertility.

perhaps a sonnet's an odd choice

but its use in this write speaks of measured steps, considered thoughts. i find the message in this piece very sad, and the use of a sonnet maybe less strange after all as it 'fences' the emotional content here.

Unlike some I like the structure of sonnets, although I think language and syntax should be flexible and show some variation. The narrative flowed well, but the words and syntax felt a bit forced.