All Comments on '1964'

This is a great poem in need of an edit. You seem to be like me, suffering from windbagginess due to a desire to include all the experience. We both need to edit better and this stanza needs to go because it is clear where things are going and it doesn't need spelling out for the reader:

I lost my virgin state to her

that afternoon

on the Upper West Side,

to make sure it wasn’t a illusion

I lost it again, and then again

and twice the next morning,

I am recommending it.