Holy Shit Ch. 02

HOLY SHIT what a problem

You are over-using the words HOLY SHIT! so often that it is annoying. This over-usage destroys any good reading experience.
It even destroys a relatively good story.

Holy Shit

A great story except if anyone said HOLY SHIT one more time I would have gagged. It ruined what could have been a great story.

Loved it

Your use of words was fine.The story was very believable .Hope you will keep the story going.Some people have comments and they are like assholes.Everyone has them.Some smellier than others.

Erotic story

but like mentioned, the words" Holy Shit" was overused. Also the use of capital letters to emphasize shouting was unnecessary. Tone it down some, makes for better reading. Otherwise nicely done. Please take this as constructive criticism. Your efforts are appreciated. Thank you. ML

I have lots of ideas!

Please don't end here. I have lots of ideas that I am willing to share.

Outstanding

Keep them coming!

Shit isn't holy.

I's stinky or smelly & if you've got the runs... Well, you know what you have...A MESS! Why discuss shit when you've got an incestuous family on your hands? Did I forget 'hypocrits'? Keep on truckin' w/the incestuous fuckin'.

Lush hot cunt,fab

Fucking wonderful I have a big cock and just love eating cunt and fucking cunt, to fuck one while sucking a second is out of this world. More and more please. Cunt drunk fucker UK

You guys...n gals

I enjoy reading all of your comments as trust me, they will help make my stories better. However, I used "holy shit" soooooo many times just to try to use one of my friend's favorite sayings to the extreme. She says it all the time! Because I intended to over used it I decided to title the stories with those same two words. Maybe it's because I know her so well but I thought it was rather funny. Wank on.

orgasms

excellent orgasms. we all know they are not like that in real life all the time but this is why we write about them. very good story

Great

Oh shit I only wish it was me getting fucked by my son. He is quite tall and blonde and he has a great cock (I've spied on him) You made me wet while reading the story and played with my clit
More like this please
Julie

super erotic

part 2 is hotter than part one. This is my favorite type of story. big tit mom, sis, and aunts fucking hung stud. give us more!

I'd like to read at least one more chapter

these are just ideas of where it might go; no writing talent myself

Mom and daughter talking about getting caught
Mom keeping quite about son & daughter so they won't move out
Mom sneeking around to watch son & daughter
Daughter's friend seducing Mom
Daughter and daughter's friend talking about timesharing son
Daughter coming in to take over from friend, daughter friend make-out
Father catches Mom with friend
Friend seduces Father
Mom goes to get son, turns into threesome
Father and Friend join in
Friend moves in and sleeps with Mother and Father

that was great

you should continue this. Make go longer. Maybe even cockil the father and make mom and sis pregnet

please

please don't abandon this story!

Woohooo!

Bring the whole family! Aunts... Cousins...

HOLY_SHIT is right it was great

wish i was that young again and know what i know now i had 2 sis only got one of them. But that is my story loved it keep up the good writing

CUCKOLD AND PREGNANT

I agree that the dad should be cuckold by the family and mom and sis should get pregnant from all their hot fucking!

Best one yet

You should deffinatly contnue with this story.. i have read alot of stories and this is by far the best..

GREAT STORY

THE FIRST ANONYMOUS SHOULD INVITE HER SON TO PLEASURE AND THE SECOND SHOULD TELL THE STORY OF HIM AND HIS TWO SISTERS.

I don't know about holy shit, but my bullshit alarm went off a couple of times.

But, I still gave it Five Stars! I thoroughly enjoyed it and do thank you for sharing it with us.

"Oh yes my son, fuck your mother and show her what it really means to get fucked!"

This is an excellent story of hot motherfucking and sisterbanging by a creative and prolific writer. Young Ron is a big well-built boy, with a big meaty prick swinging between his strong young legs that's the gleeful joy of both his mother and his kid sister Becky. When his mom catches sight of her boy's big fat dick---even soft!---she's jolted down to her dripping motherly cunt. Ron-boy's in the enviable position of having both of the family twats available to him whenever he feels like flooding them with powerful doses of his creamy semen, and the grinning young motherfucker and sisterpounder takes full advantage. As he's shoving his massive prick up between his mother's legs he tells her that before he's finished he's gonna give her mommy-cunt a thorough "cum bath from the inside!" This boy's got the heavy loaded balls to do it---and he does! His mom and sis are going to get their twats very well taken care of, as Ron proudly does his duty as an ever-hard son and big brother.

I can think of all kinds of comments to make but "HOLY SHIT" sums it up just fine.

GRRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTTTTT. ............

Oh Jesus, you're so much bigger than the father's!

"Oh god, this might be a sin, but you make me feel so much glory through my entire body," the mother moaned. "Oh Jesus, oh Jesus, that feels so good, harder baby, harder!" she called out. I picked up the pace, and our bodies began smacking from the mother's juices, and my thrusting into her pussy. Breathing hard, her orgasm began, and so did her defiance of my father! "Oh god, oh god, oh fuck me Jesus, fuck your mother, Jesus fuck me!" my mother yelled! "I'm coming my son, I'm coming, Oh yes, oh Jesus, oh god, fuck me harder, oh god, oh fuck me Jesus!" she shouted! "Oh god yes, oh yes, oh yes, oh, oh, oh, oh, Goooooooooooooooooooddddd!!!!!!!!

This is about the fourth time I have read this story through the years.

The "Holy Shit" phrase was used so much to make a point, of course it was overblown. His fuck of his Mom was one of the funniest (and hottest) of that genre I have read and I have been reading fiction and porn for many years. Keep up the good work, DD, if you are still in action. You are one of the BEST! Thank you for writing.