it is never good to start sex with a sleeping person unless they know before that it will happen. in this case it could be said to be rape since she had no idea he was going to do it. and he was an idiot to do it since she could have woke up screaming and the parents would have disowned him think before writing this was way to unrealistic at the end.
It is basically a good story but in the process it seemed hurried resulting in a story that is a bit too short. Overall though, a good story.
by
Anonymous07/02/11
Amateurish
This is more like something a 13 year old would write. ALMOST fully developed? At 19 they should be nearly bursting her bra, and most girls having their first ever fuck are way too nervous to orgasm. Sure she can enjoy feeling her cunt stretch to take a cock for the first time, but orgasms are rarer than hens teeth.
by
Anonymous04/02/12
NO GOOD
since this isn't the fantasy area your story HAS to be believable and be based on reality THIS WAS NOT. this was also technically rape since he started while she was asleep and didn't ask her permission just did it. they have seperate areas for fantasy and rape choose one and stick with it DON'T JUMP BETWEEN AREAS. DELETE AND REWRITE OR JUST THROW AWAY BUT DON'T LEAVE IT LIKE THIS.
by
Anonymous04/08/13
this is a great story, and it isn't "rape," it's...
the gentle forcing of a virgin. Big brother Trent has just got to get his big stiff prick up his sister's sweet little coochie, and he knows once he busts her cherry sis'll love it as much as he does. He senses she's up for it, as she shows, cumming like crazy with her first fuck, as Trent blows his brotherly balls up his sister's adorable little twat. In his sister's cute little cunt is where a brother's warm creamy semen belongs.
by
Anonymous01/17/14
sucks
good way to ruin their relationship she would hate him for ever and probably tell the parents and all her freinds he raped her. delete and stop writing until you get off the drugs and can do it realisticly.
by
Anonymous01/06/17
One day I found my sister is very beautiful. our relationship is very normal. our parents was on tour for 15 days. we left alone. at night I saw her sleeping naked. her swollen pussy was soooo beauty! I kissed her pussy, she unknowingly spread her legs, I fucked her, she awoke and did not stop me. really having fucking sisters is lucky.
English
Great start.
I enjoyed this story & I hope you will continue it.
This is a great first story - keep writing.
never good
it is never good to start sex with a sleeping person unless they know before that it will happen. in this case it could be said to be rape since she had no idea he was going to do it. and he was an idiot to do it since she could have woke up screaming and the parents would have disowned him think before writing this was way to unrealistic at the end.
DBRS
Great First Story!
Don't dwell on the negative feedback! This was a great first story and it was YOUR fantasy, or possibly even your REALITY...
I hope to see another chapter also, or maybe another story all together.
sorry...
but i don't thin of this story as one that i would reccomend
to many strange events
Good try
ne!eded a bit of behind belting!
a little spanking and belting would have really added to her education
Too Short
It is basically a good story but in the process it seemed hurried resulting in a story that is a bit too short. Overall though, a good story.
Amateurish
This is more like something a 13 year old would write. ALMOST fully developed? At 19 they should be nearly bursting her bra, and most girls having their first ever fuck are way too nervous to orgasm. Sure she can enjoy feeling her cunt stretch to take a cock for the first time, but orgasms are rarer than hens teeth.
NO GOOD
since this isn't the fantasy area your story HAS to be believable and be based on reality THIS WAS NOT. this was also technically rape since he started while she was asleep and didn't ask her permission just did it. they have seperate areas for fantasy and rape choose one and stick with it DON'T JUMP BETWEEN AREAS. DELETE AND REWRITE OR JUST THROW AWAY BUT DON'T LEAVE IT LIKE THIS.
this is a great story, and it isn't "rape," it's...
the gentle forcing of a virgin. Big brother Trent has just got to get his big stiff prick up his sister's sweet little coochie, and he knows once he busts her cherry sis'll love it as much as he does. He senses she's up for it, as she shows, cumming like crazy with her first fuck, as Trent blows his brotherly balls up his sister's adorable little twat. In his sister's cute little cunt is where a brother's warm creamy semen belongs.
sucks
good way to ruin their relationship she would hate him for ever and probably tell the parents and all her freinds he raped her. delete and stop writing until you get off the drugs and can do it realisticly.
One day I found my sister is very beautiful. our relationship is very normal. our parents was on tour for 15 days. we left alone. at night I saw her sleeping naked. her swollen pussy was soooo beauty! I kissed her pussy, she unknowingly spread her legs, I fucked her, she awoke and did not stop me. really having fucking sisters is lucky.
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