A Journey To Remember Ch. 01

Good start!

more...

Im assuming they will bump into each to each other?
This would have been way better if you would have not posted it until a little further into it. Right now it's sort of catchy but not enough to hook people and make them bookmark you and wait for the next..you should have gave us a little more before leaving it hanging.
Anyways, anxious to see the rest and will be on the lookout.

Editor

You need to find an editor to help with sentence run-ons, and with proof reading your work.

Other than that, it is starting out well. Just don't rush into plot revealment all the time.

You NEED an editor!

All the grammatical errors made it too difficult to read. It might be a good story but with everything else out there, I'm not going to keep reading to find out.

good

i like it already keep writin other stories:)

Enjoyed it, good work