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English
I have no idea what this means
but that maybe because my brain is not working right right now...
I think
this is very good. Experts espouse so much wisdom in an effort to hear the sounds of their own voices. My 'expert'--my love, listens, and offers her opinions with a soft kiss. Shit--I digress like a frickin' expert. Shut up, Espie. Good work. It is fairly simple, cutting to make a point. I feel and get.
I like this but it could be better with a rework
I see very clearly the type of person you are portraying in this poem. My problem though is that it seems more tell than show, and I think you could up the poetic language. For each point you make, there could be an example which would demonstrate without saying "this is how they are." Having said that I should add that this is (imo) a difficult sort of poem to write in the first place: it is much easier to write something sweet and impressionistic than something that makes a strong, sort of political statement. I would not give up on it at all, but try reworking it with more showing. I have great faith in your ability to do that and know you can (I've seen you do that sort of writing over and over and it produces your best poetry). Just my opinion of course, but I only give tough love to my favorite poets. :-)
heh, we all know this sort of person
expensive shoes, make-up, attire... but bored and flawed inside. i hope i never become one of these
i agree with Angeline about one or two dexterous examples to add a more visual component to your write, Tess, even if it does allow us to fill in the images for ourselves as it is. what it does do, though, is point a steady finger at this sort of character and make us nod in recognition.
~
Those of the cutting wit who would look at you with astonishment if you pointed out that such friends are no friends at all. A perfect portrayal
The poem is a scar to remind and remind and remind and remind
Chilly echo. hahahaha. This poem makes me angry. What do we do to disarms these children of phd's?
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