Obviously you never heard of spell check. You also do not know the word 'and' you only know the symbol '&'.
Was this written on a cell phone?
Do not bother to write again until you are ready to stop being so lazy and write properly. I would also suggest you wait until you are of proper age to be on this site.
by
Anonymous01/17/11
Just fine
Your story was fine. Don't mind the harsh critics. Your spelling was ok, didn't distract the reading any. Write on.
by
Anonymous01/17/11
confused
I loved this story! I'm confused by the spellcheck references and the complaints about the "&" -- maybe you people need to upgrade your computers or something. I had no problem at all reading this story. Or cumming to it. Thanks, Emma!
by
Anonymous01/17/11
Can't wait for Chapter 2!
Such a tease! Ending the story at that point! Mmmm...excited for the next part..
by
Anonymous01/17/11
Get an editor
All of the other comments have some valid points. The spelling, grammar, etc. were substandard. E.g., "They were the one things in his life he could change." Yes, your use of the ampersand instead of "and" was distracting. But the buildup was reasonably paced and the choice of ending the story at the point where he sits on her bed was very good. Keep writing but get an editor.
You ended it there?
Ha. Very crafty. I loved it. I'll bet you smirked when you read it again after you'd finished it.
Never mind the critics: Grammar and spelling are things easily learned and corrected, and I honestly didn't pick up on any flaws at first reading. Storytelling, especially erotic storytelling, is a talent that must flow from within. To make fantasy and unrealistic situations believable, the writer has to have the talent to "take the reader to that place." You have that talent, and your work is a pleasure to read.
English
Awesome
Please let the story end there. We all know what's going to happen next.
I agree with the previous comment
This was a hot story. But with most incest stories, the buildup is much sexier than the consumation. Nicely done.
didnt even deserve one star
Obviously you never heard of spell check. You also do not know the word 'and' you only know the symbol '&'.
Was this written on a cell phone?
Do not bother to write again until you are ready to stop being so lazy and write properly. I would also suggest you wait until you are of proper age to be on this site.
Just fine
Your story was fine. Don't mind the harsh critics. Your spelling was ok, didn't distract the reading any. Write on.
confused
I loved this story! I'm confused by the spellcheck references and the complaints about the "&" -- maybe you people need to upgrade your computers or something. I had no problem at all reading this story. Or cumming to it. Thanks, Emma!
Can't wait for Chapter 2!
Such a tease! Ending the story at that point! Mmmm...excited for the next part..
Get an editor
All of the other comments have some valid points. The spelling, grammar, etc. were substandard. E.g., "They were the one things in his life he could change." Yes, your use of the ampersand instead of "and" was distracting. But the buildup was reasonably paced and the choice of ending the story at the point where he sits on her bed was very good. Keep writing but get an editor.
This is not English 101
Emma I thought it was HOT!!! It was sexy and well put 2gether. This is not English 101. You needn't worry yourself about spellcheck or grammar.
You got your hot point across and the closed to readers ending was just as hot. Please write more.
Breathless and wanting more
You ended it there?
Ha. Very crafty. I loved it. I'll bet you smirked when you read it again after you'd finished it.
Never mind the critics: Grammar and spelling are things easily learned and corrected, and I honestly didn't pick up on any flaws at first reading. Storytelling, especially erotic storytelling, is a talent that must flow from within. To make fantasy and unrealistic situations believable, the writer has to have the talent to "take the reader to that place." You have that talent, and your work is a pleasure to read.
so good
that made me so wet! i just came so hard! great
My pussy is wet now
U made my pussy wet thanks
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