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English
Hmmm....
... I left a comment that seems to have disappeared but my vote's still here so....
I said this was well worth rescuing but also well worth some more work - weeding, pruning. It has strong, promising roots but is too sprawling. Forget about the "why" in the final stanza - it's enough to conjure up the pub scene. At present it reads as a prosey stream of conscience, try to take it down to the essence and it will be a memorable poem.
Tess.
~
I agree with Tess this needs more editing your present work is more finer and delicate, it's good to see how much you have moved on though
agreed
Good material. Needs a massive edit with hard heart. I can see where you have developed from.
*
rescue away. I have a contrary opinion, clearly you are musing here, so some degree of wastage and back & forth are called for.
easy 100
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