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Fill 'Er Up!
Especially like the stories about huge cocks filling willing and wanting pussies completely up! Give us more!
Story
Needs a longer Chapter. some are 2 pages long and that seems about right the 1 page chapters seem too short.
Editor would be nice too.
My fav!!
I'll be reading this story again and again for a long time. Absolutely marvelous!!!
like how the steamy scenes are drawn out... I have a lot to learn.
boring
The characters, and particularly Tom, have no personalities. Tom could be a robot who happens to like tea. Also, what was the point of this experiment? They just let this guy loose with no follow-up or explanation? Isn't the attractive researcher addicted to him as well? The sex scenes are reasonably well written.
re: character development
michass and some who wrote me raise a valid point. There hasn't been much in the way of character development, and the whole experiment part is getting left in the dust. I also honestly think some of the earlier sex scenes could be steamier. I'm considering redoing the whole thing, rounding it out more, and making an ebook out of it. Something where there's actually some plot and conflict, I really enjoy writing the sex scenes, but it needs a bit more tension I think. Thanks for your feedback!
What Tom saw?
Paragraph 7 in its entirety reads: "Debbie's hair danced over Tom's plunging cock. Tom looked down over her body, seeing ".
Seeing what??? If you don't want to put forth the effort to proofread your work, shame on you! If you then don't want to use one of the many volunteer editors double shame on you!
I know that things slide through but please show a little pride in your work.
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