Great story, would like to see Jennie involved, also would like to hear more of the lesbian action between the women.
by
Anonymous01/15/11
needs minor changes
One minor change that would make the story not look like some grade school aged child wrote it in places is needed. The change is using multiple letters to stretch a word to nealy fill an entire line, expecially when its just one word, and the use of mixed upper/lower case letters is bad also. This just harms otherwise fairly good reading.
Thanks for giving me insight into your past experiences. You are telling me that you have never made your partner cry out in pleasure while holding a word...or words...making them stretch out quite long. It is truly a glorious feeling and I tried to convey that with the drawn out words. And when I changed from upper to lower case letters and then back again I was trying to convey the wavering of the voice. Try to read it again with that in mind.
If after doing the re-read you find that you still don't like it, get a name and write your own.
I am sitting in a puddle of my own cock juice that has poured out of me while reading this story! My wife is going to love this one while she reads and takes cock tonight! One suggestion if you don't mind...shave their cunts and dress them up like the incestuous sluts they are!
by
Anonymous04/27/11
If you are leaking popapink,
Just plug you ears and nose. Alternatively, why don't you let all that stupidity leak out. You will feel better !
by
Anonymous12/08/11
Well above average
There is indeed no such word as cuntal.... because there is no such word as cunt. the "correct" words are vagina and vaginal. However, since cunt is a commnly used term, I see nothing wrong with cuntal.
The pacing of this story is very fast and the plot seems weak, but that may be the writer's intent. as a quickie masturbation piece it seems to be doing fine.
by
Anonymous01/29/12
If your going to pick up spelling.
People in glass houses should not throw stones. "commnly " If your going to pick up spelling and usage of words at least spell them correctly.
English
Get Jennie Involved
Great story, would like to see Jennie involved, also would like to hear more of the lesbian action between the women.
needs minor changes
One minor change that would make the story not look like some grade school aged child wrote it in places is needed. The change is using multiple letters to stretch a word to nealy fill an entire line, expecially when its just one word, and the use of mixed upper/lower case letters is bad also. This just harms otherwise fairly good reading.
hot pussy
I loved the way you described the feel of the women's pussy.
Very hot!
To: Anonymous in search of minor changes
Thanks for giving me insight into your past experiences. You are telling me that you have never made your partner cry out in pleasure while holding a word...or words...making them stretch out quite long. It is truly a glorious feeling and I tried to convey that with the drawn out words. And when I changed from upper to lower case letters and then back again I was trying to convey the wavering of the voice. Try to read it again with that in mind.
If after doing the re-read you find that you still don't like it, get a name and write your own.
Love it!!!
I absolutely love all your work. With the Family Matters story web being my fave so far. Keep up the great work!!! Can't wait to read more!!!!!
I don't think...
...that there is any such word as, "...cuntal...". I've seen it b4 in other stories BUT IT JUST DOESN'T SOUND or LOOK RIGHT!
I AM LEAKING
I am sitting in a puddle of my own cock juice that has poured out of me while reading this story! My wife is going to love this one while she reads and takes cock tonight! One suggestion if you don't mind...shave their cunts and dress them up like the incestuous sluts they are!
If you are leaking popapink,
Just plug you ears and nose. Alternatively, why don't you let all that stupidity leak out. You will feel better !
Well above average
There is indeed no such word as cuntal.... because there is no such word as cunt. the "correct" words are vagina and vaginal. However, since cunt is a commnly used term, I see nothing wrong with cuntal.
The pacing of this story is very fast and the plot seems weak, but that may be the writer's intent. as a quickie masturbation piece it seems to be doing fine.
If your going to pick up spelling.
People in glass houses should not throw stones. "commnly " If your going to pick up spelling and usage of words at least spell them correctly.
Spelling? The kettle calling the pot BLACK?
Anonymous(#1).......It's not ...."your going to pick up spelling...". It's YOU'RE going to pick ........ . AKA a 'contraction'.
Really?
11" cock? Cumming 6 to 7 times a day (female yeah male? NO fucking way!)? Come on dude make it realistic!
Could be better
If his cock wasn't so deformed. Must look like an oversized butt plug.
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