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English
A sonnet!
And a lovely one at that where (with one exception) the words flow smoothly from line to line, making this a lyrical read. I'm not wild about "Near you in the dark I may sit," as it is one of those lines I know (cause I've been there) you wedged into the poem to fit the rhyme scheme. Imo it's an easy fix which, if made, would leave you with a sonnet as darkly sweet as caramel. Oh and I love all the flame/burn/candle wordplay which underscores the title and theme so well. Good stuff, Bronze.
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The same line 'Near you in the dark I may sit' immediately caught my eye too as a forced rhyme, but otherwise lovely words throughout
*
Usually never a good idea these rhyming couplets.
100 anyway
Good effort
At a sonnet? Or something. I wouldn't regognize a set form if my life depended on it. Great tone and mood in the opening lines old school bard style.
Somewhere after half of the poem I feel it loses a little focus, like you know the end, and just want to get there.
Last couplet ties it up juuust right though. Well worth a read or three.
~
Not mad about this one. You are most impressive when you write with a kind of masculine power. This one seems a bit too SNAG from you. Gave you an 80%
WHEN ONE WANTS A BRIGHTER LIGHT
you must sacrifice longevity, TK U MLJ LV NV
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