All Comments on 'Secrets'

Great images (yellow irises crushed where he fell--excellent, I can see it). No missteps here though I might move "secrets" down to the next line, but maybe that's just my way trying to rearrange! Really good writting, A!

...because - up to now my comments aren't sticking - but I love this moody, atmospheric work.

Tess

The narrative works great, the slips from past to present and back are effortless, the opening immediate in setting a mood.

I feel though you may be hammering in the idea of that secret a bit too deep. It's a secret, and again, then a heavy truth, then signs covered. One mention, at just the right place, might have boosted the effect.

You seems a good deal more comfortable in this one. Getting a recommend.

Five.

I agree with Liar. The narrative really works great. I was able to go in a number of different diretions with it, and they all seemed to fit well.