Not bad but it needs to be finished! A good old fashion confrontation scene at the end where the wife is left with the choices that she made. Now that would have made for a really good story.
As I read this I was starting to feel sorry for her. She has a strong libido and has spoken to her husband about the issue. He blew her off. He's obviously a moron. She isn't right but I could understand her needing to get an itch scratched. However, when she is in a car pulling a train with 17 guys that isn't scratching an itch, that's a total loss of control. She is also too into her screwing around. It isn't just something she feels she has to do, it's something she is scoring and looking forward to. She's a complete slut. I really don't need the story "completed". She's not redeemable.
I don't think it needs to be "finished." The whole confrontation scene is implied in the last sentence. Damned economical way to deal with it, if you ask me. (If you have to have the whole thing laid out word-for-word you must have no imagination whatsoever.) And it's not as though there's not already a fair amount of tension in the story to begin with.
half story. I do not think he knows how to finish a story, he must have missed that day in class. A story that has no ending is not a true story, it is just a few paragraphs strung together.
but this one does. JPB lays it out for us...whatever might have happened, it all died when he got a good look at her. Thanks, JPB! I think this was one of your better ones.
He asks her about her cheating. She either lies or tells him the truth and begs for forgiveness. He either takes her back or divorces her. Just another incomplete Bob failure.
English
Not bad but it needs to be finished!
Not bad but it needs to be finished! A good old fashion confrontation scene at the end where the wife is left with the choices that she made. Now that would have made for a really good story.
Please JPB
Finish this one off for us!
Typical JPB
As usual, no ending. I really got sucked into this. Not worth the time.
Mixed feelings
As I read this I was starting to feel sorry for her. She has a strong libido and has spoken to her husband about the issue. He blew her off. He's obviously a moron. She isn't right but I could understand her needing to get an itch scratched. However, when she is in a car pulling a train with 17 guys that isn't scratching an itch, that's a total loss of control. She is also too into her screwing around. It isn't just something she feels she has to do, it's something she is scoring and looking forward to. She's a complete slut. I really don't need the story "completed". She's not redeemable.
Actually, not bad just as it is.
I don't think it needs to be "finished." The whole confrontation scene is implied in the last sentence. Damned economical way to deal with it, if you ask me. (If you have to have the whole thing laid out word-for-word you must have no imagination whatsoever.) And it's not as though there's not already a fair amount of tension in the story to begin with.
Not bad at all.
I don;t think it needs to be finished either.
If your idea was to catch the moment of regret, you did it.
Just another JPB
half story. I do not think he knows how to finish a story, he must have missed that day in class. A story that has no ending is not a true story, it is just a few paragraphs strung together.
I hate it when a story doesn't have an end,
but this one does. JPB lays it out for us...whatever might have happened, it all died when he got a good look at her. Thanks, JPB! I think this was one of your better ones.
One Redeeming Factor
At least she got caught.
Just imagine the fun...
...if this story had been somewhat completed...
An interesting flash story. She was reckless.
How hard could it be to finish this?
He asks her about her cheating. She either lies or tells him the truth and begs for forgiveness. He either takes her back or divorces her. Just another incomplete Bob failure.
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