by Just Plain Bob
Not bad but it needs to be finished! A good old fashion confrontation scene at the end where the wife is left with the choices that she made. Now that would have made for a really good story.
As usual, no ending. I really got sucked into this. Not worth the time.
As I read this I was starting to feel sorry for her. She has a strong libido and has spoken to her husband about the issue. He blew her off. He's obviously a moron. She isn't right but I could understand her needing to get an itch scratched. However, when she is in a car pulling a train with 17 guys that isn't scratching an itch, that's a total loss of control. She is also too into her screwing around. It isn't just something she feels she has to do, it's something she is scoring and looking forward to. She's a complete slut. I really don't need the story "completed". She's not redeemable.
I don't think it needs to be "finished." The whole confrontation scene is implied in the last sentence. Damned economical way to deal with it, if you ask me. (If you have to have the whole thing laid out word-for-word you must have no imagination whatsoever.) And it's not as though there's not already a fair amount of tension in the story to begin with.
Not bad at all.
If your idea was to catch the moment of regret, you did it.
half story. I do not think he knows how to finish a story, he must have missed that day in class. A story that has no ending is not a true story, it is just a few paragraphs strung together.
but this one does. JPB lays it out for us...whatever might have happened, it all died when he got a good look at her. Thanks, JPB! I think this was one of your better ones.
He asks her about her cheating. She either lies or tells him the truth and begs for forgiveness. He either takes her back or divorces her. Just another incomplete Bob failure.
Some say they are happy with the ending and it is obvious they assume that he will leave her. That is not obvious to me. Perhaps what stopped his next statement was his disbelief in what he was seeing and his excitement as to what it must mean. Now he can finally have her fulfill the fantasies he was too afraid to broach.
Of course that ending would really suck, but it is possible. It took some time for her to go from a neglected wife struggling to stay true to a wanton slut looking forward to the next time hubby will be out of town. JPB did not paint a picture of their relationship during that time.
Did she still enjoy good sex with her husband when he was home or did she find it boring compared to her extra-marital romps? Had she stopped complaining about his traveling? Was there any evidence that he suspected something was going on?
Did he come home a week early because he suspected something or was he just trying to cut back and surprise her? Or, did he really come home early or was she so wrapped up in her cheating ways that she became confused and made a mistake?
JPB left many questions unanswered. Answers to those might have made a better story. Certainly an answer to the last question, what the husband did next, would have made the story better for me.
Thanks for writing!
I'd like to suggest a story idea. Literally, start at the last two paragraphs of this story and see where it takes you. Don't even read the previous part. Just start there. I think that this is a good opening for a story. Just my two cents though.
OH SHIT! just doesn't seem to measure up to the situation. Say, "Bye, bye, farewell...", or not. Thanks for the story.
Good, as far as it goes. Needs another paragraph. I'll start it for you. "It's not what you think, honey!"
I'm sure as heck glad I neither love or respect Jake. Second thought was I hope I can get my dumb cheating ass out of here before Jake kills me.
I like stories like this. It ends leaving you wondering, but knowing it isn't going to be good. I don't need to know what he decided. She's fucked and there will be a price to pay. It's the getting there that matters most.
The only thing that might have made it better is if Jake had been sitting in his recliner watching her while she traipsed through the house shedding her clothes and noticing him on her way to the stairs. Great porn.
the cheapskate had better be careful or he might get fucked over for the fucking she got, TK U MLJ LV NV
So her ex is better off without her but she will find others.
Another final sentence to the story. She saw the bore of his .357 revolver pointed at her face. It looked like a cannon, and the sound was just as loud. Muert ainsi la putain!
No matter what she wins. 50/50 split and as hot and horny as she is she will get all the dick she wants. Just hope she gets STD testing frequently.
Husbands always lose in these deals.
Oh yeah. I loved it but I love the longer ones where he listens to her try to explain.
So, the dude gets home from a business trip late Friday night or early Saturday morning, before 6 am or so. His wife and her car are both gone. And he just crawls into their bed, and presumably sleeps until she makes noise coming in? Then all he says is "heard you come in" and he's shocked to discover she's been out cheating? Hmmmm...
Makes no sense why you write this well and this much, but do not finish it.
You can't leave your wife alone and neglected for weeks at a time. This is on him. So much for saving a dime...