Hubby Takes Over

Outstanding

About time somebody showed some to the death courage. But mybe this was old Texas and he'll get a jury trial.

thoughts

It's a kind of neat story. It makes a guy wonder just what is going on in his mind and how does he think. I would like to see a second part of this story because you left so many questions the main one being how did all those people get to where they are and just how does this situation turn out.

I think I like his new game.....

But just like football, I'd like to see the final score and the recap. Good story but it needs a chapter 02.

Loved It

Now you must Continue until we Find Out how the Game Ends.
it would be kinda nice to Copy Video they were taking and send it to Everyone.
and Maybe post it Online.

Well written

I liked the construction of the story and I think you let it end at the right place. As a fantasy it is perfect, but reality intrudes beyond this point. Either he shoots some or all of them and faces judgement in whatever state he lives in, or he allows them gradually to go on thier pathetic way. The video tape would be sufficient revenge sent out to the whole world.

One minor point, almost all handguns and long arms make rather distinctive mechanical noises when a live round is being chambered. A revolver sounds different than a semi-auto and a pump shotgun is particularly chilling when an unwelcome intruder is in your home at night. Using the Colt is nicely symbolic as it came from his Grandfather and is a solid reminder of the code of the old west.

Nice game

I liked the psychological torture he is giving them. The question I have is with his wife's family the losers that they are and the obvious bitch his wife is, why is he still married? If he hasn't shot them already he probably isn't going to unless they do something stupid. But they don't know that. Unfortunately he comes out of this a loser. No matter what they have done in our "enlightened" society they have no accountability. He, on the other hand, is guilty of felony criminal threatening. 100 years ago I'd tie them all up and set the place "accidentally" on fire but you couldn't get away with that today.

I hope it is just "Halftime"

2 please.

Thanks for sharing on Lit.


x

Loved it

Great line, love the way you have stated this, thought it out well and put it down well, don't know when it was posted but hope it was only just now as I hope to see a follow on , great read.

I'd like to hear the other side

As in many other LW stories it would be interesting to read, how the wife got into the situation and how does she explain it. Did she hurt her husband on purpose or was it 'just sex - nothing to do with the "deep love" for her husband'?

I hope that the author doesn't leave the story hanging like it is now.

A lot of questions left to be answered in this story.

Will he carry out his threats?

What were the reasons that led up this nasty situation?

Did he have any knowledge as to what was going on in his home before he saw what was going on?

Thanks for the good read.

More please

one comment said it was half time. I hope it's only the first quarter.

A few technical errors but none large enough to lessen the enjoyment of reading. (presents instead of presence for one)

Thanks for your time and get back to work please.

Woodmanone

Very good

I had to dig out the old Colt to see if you were lying to me. You were not, it is a little louder than the others. The action of a pump shotgun is still king though. There is something about looking into the abyss of that large hole that is very unsettling. Is it safe to say the people in this story are playing a dangerous game? That depends if the man holding the 1911 is serious or not, he sounds serious. This is where the rubber meets the road, the offenders whole lives boil down to a few minutes in time. I have to disagree with Jasonnh, it all comes down to the planning. This was not planned, he will go to the pen unless he hauls ass. The story is fine as is, I think he will test the trigger pull. But, if there was a chapter two I would definitely read it.

Or...

Was it a 45 long colt? That would definitely be louder, I checked that one too. Four attention getting clicks.

I think you did a good job of capturing the moment.

The question is, with a video going, what can he really do that will not send him to jail? In some ways, I think he may have been better off if her had just pulled the trigger.

He now has evidence to adutlery for the divorce, and possibly some alienation of affection lawsuits, but not much more. I do think he should consider the leverage of broadcasting the video on the Internet in the divorce.

Loved the story...

Particularly the beginning. I kept wondering where the fuck is this story going. Who is going to get shot? Is he going to shoot himself? Or what/? Or who? And the story continued to get further fucked up...further surreal. Can't decide if I want further chapters or prefer my imagination to add the mayhem myself. Anyway, I loved this wondefully weird story.

Are you going to continue?

Because, while this is great, it's really only a fraction of a story...it's a scene--a great one, but just a scene.

Thanks,

ohio

Now that's a cliffhanger

Do continue!

Continuation???

What an ending this story should be continued.

please continue

id love to see what happenes when hes daughter visits n gets some real cock

fucking round heeled sluts kill them all

Captivating Openning Act!!

Going to grab some Popcorn and a Coke be right back! Don't start the next act without me.

ha, ha, ha ....lol

and rule 4 follow the first 3

PLEASE!!??

An epilog or chapter 2 has to follow. TK U MLJ LV NV

What a sappy, immature power fantasy here.

If someone needs to feel more powerful in their life I guess writing a fantasy like this would serve.

Ha

Check this out. The family that cheats together, DIES TOGETHER.

HA HA

LET THE GAME BEGIN

oh, no do overs or mulligans, TK U MLJ LV NV

Thanks

For the read.

Great Read

But should'nt we get on with the Revenge like calling the Father in-law and Brother in-law over to see their Faithfull wives in their predicament.

Sounds a fun game; how lucky to have a family gathering.

Now this is what I'm talking about. Here is a man with balls just a little upset about being left out of the fun I guess. I'm his wifey will make it up to him. The fact that he's admiring his grandfather's legacy just shows how sentimental a real man can get. How this scene ends leaves little to the imagination. However, I would like to suggest that author save wifey for last so they have a chance to reminisce on her dying love lol

Gave it a 2

because you didn't finish what started out to be a good read.

Perfect

If every story gets written until the final cheater is burned, nothing is left to the imagination.

My imagination says this could go several ways, and that's okay.

Good job. 5*

I regret...

...that the writer of this tiny paragraph isn´t able to continue it and turn it into a real story

okay...

...so you managed to write half a story...so what? I would think that a story consists of more than a few sentences thrown together during a 5-minute lunchbreak...