Hell to Pay Ch. 02

Woodie tries his hand at another genre

and turns out a pretty good piece. Enjoyable..
Thanks!

Not

You had a good story going but you turn a trained sniper into an idiot. What happened to the alarms around the house? Or the fact that no one would believe those guys would just leave. Or that he wouldn't do inventory on his weapons? I generally love your stories, but this just turned stupid.

Inconsistent

Quote from chapter 1

Casey conversation with Dixie

Don't stop to warn anyone, don't stop to threaten them and don't stop to see if you hit anything, just keep shooting."

So much for that philosophy for chapter 2.

I agree with anonymous. How could Casey turn into such an idiot.
Pretty much ruins the story premise for me.

Your writing as a whole is excellent and entertaining.
This one not so much.

Casey does seemed to have dumbed out...

Walking out on the porch of the cabin and getting shot is not consistent with the earlier characterization of Casey....

Don't tell me that an intelligent man who is trained as a sniper would leave a potential threat breathing...

Great fantasy story except I have a problem with the actions of Casey in allowing scum to live that had threatened Dixie and himself. These are not innocent colateral damage but thugs who would not hesitate to rob and kill. No matter how conflicted he might be he would follow his training and eliminate the threat.

Don't tell me that Casey

forgot to inventory the cabin as soon as he was inside, just like he check to make sure the guns that he had loaded were still loaded. The man must have had a lobotomy over night to be that brain dead. It made the whole story unbelievable.

Good Story

Your last several paragraphs makes the story interesting, but very unrealistic. A man who has done all this planning, does not make the mistake of checking is weapons, thier load, and location. Ex-military check thier arms. It's second nature, a forced habit to live by.

Not gonna read the rest

because it should alrady be over. I don't want to read a story about a supposedly deadly sniper who is willing to risk his girl getting raped and murdered because he doesn't want to hurt anybody.

Woodmanone, I generally like your stories, but this time you describe a character in a certain way and then have him behave totally inconsistently with that description. That leads to a disappointed reader

Not one of your best ....

I'm sorry woodmanone but I think you've left way too many inconsistencies in this story.

I do like the premise of the virus but as you know not all servers host email and many would not be exposed. Also, you cannot have a virus infect your computer merely by the arrival of an email. It just can't happen. Much of the infection could have been prevented by shutting down gmail, hotmail, and warning people of the danger.

Secondly, I can maybe understand his fiance's reluctance to fire when the men first arrived, but his constant leaving of her in danger when he could have reduced the odds or taken them out to me can't be excused by his sniper experience.

Letting them leave with the knowledge of his cabin's location and that he has weaponry and C4 doesn't make sense.

Also, his not checking the weaponry in the cabin after they left strains credulity and being so confident they're out of the area that they casually stroll out of the cabin the next morning is incredibly reckless.

Well, I'm going to continue reading but I'm a little disappointed in this 2011 story.

No!

For being a trained sniper, this Casey is so stupid. This is not one of your more thought out stories. It's turned to total shit at this point

Gotta agree with most the other comments, this story lacks credibility.

Feels like you just tacked on another suspense part to drag it out and leave a cliff hanger like some poor plot on a TV show.

How stupid can it get?

Answer: Read this story and find out. Super-duper Sniper-man...trains and prepares for the end of civilized society and/or world. Except...he can't bring himself to kill the bad guys....EVEN after they've beaten his girl,and threatened to rape her. What kind of TRAINED soldier fires warning shots( Arrows...really?!) at kidnappers? What kind of TRAINED soldier would ALLOW any (scared/crazy) opponent to retreat back to a fortified position.......with a hostage?? I had some hope for this series. Stick to what you know. Writing semi-cuck stories,and selling Girl Scout Cookies.-BGunns

Not realistic at all

Yes, I know it's "fiction" but it's bad fiction. You don't get to be a sniper by not following orders. And the idea of a sniper being squeamish about killing is as corny and hackneyed as the idea of the psycho-killer. There is a time to kill, and it's not after you get shot, it's before.

Great story but stupid characters

First the woman was stupid, now the hero does something that put her stupidity to shame. First he let them live. Why was this a bad idea? Simple, they knew where the cabin was and could simply have left, gotten help and then returned and placed them under siege. Secondly how could anyone with even a lick of sense not expected the bad guys to return? To just blindly go out of the cabin without a care in the world was just too damn stupid for words.
I know that they are the good guys, but at this point in the story these two have placed themselves right on top of the Darwin Award list because they are just too damn stupid to live.

hell 02

Ed Grocott
edgrocott@gmail.com

obviously a lib

Only waiting for the suggestion that they call 911 about being harassed. The invaders that is... usually it is the illegal elements that call the "authority" to force you into allowing them entrance and entertainment in your home.

Realistically, you don't stand there asking questions of someone invading your home. You fucking shoot them! DUH - Californians pretending to be war hero authors

Just an observation

All smart ass aninomus , what do you know about the nightmares of a combat veteran? Do you know that many times they can't sleep normaly for years, for a sniper the enemie it's not like for a pilot, the sniper sees in the croshair the faces of the people who he kills. And if if he is not a sociopath or psihopath, killing an inocent can eat him alive, it's not like a video game when if you shoot some inocents it's ok,because you start the game again for a better record.
Yes, a former sniper can be reluctant to kill, but like a sleeping beast it's not ok to poke him because you will not like the results.

Combat and PTSD If you haven't been there don't try to write about it. If you have been there you probably wont want to.