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English
You opened
a door of curiosity as to the source of inspiration so I have been googling for the last 15 minutes trying to get the references. This is very unique and I haven't read anything like it. These two phrases sing:
The moon a scythe of bone.
In the infirmament of a starless black ovule...
Heady
Hmm
When you write like this I'm never quite sure if you are being serious or taking the piss.
The sun's going down and the moon is rising or at least a crescent moon. Some macbre dance is going on and some romantic idyl is turning into a hell. It all seems such a romantic pastiche to me. I know there is method in your madness but are you being serious or being a serious charlatan? Knowing you, both so I'm going to sit on the fence.
You have balls anyway. ;-)
*
Ah Seline, Seline, oh, no Shepard boy,I
Serious, bog, it really happened, nah, you know me well. Source was Keats's Endyminion, "O heaven ambrosial", nothing more. Thought of some moon tart, coming down and molesting some poor goat herder...
well, the Greeks where noted for that kind of crap, forcibles too...Western Civ at the git-go.
Problem I have with Keats, is he was born two hundred years too early. I like to think about what he would have rebelled against today.
PS. I'm always serious when I take a piss, ever since Elvis Costello's My aim is true.
LOL
Keats has a lot to answer for! I liked the same lines as Espie.
Oh!
Make this an audio please! The language is wonderful - Keates'd fall on his keister laughing......or he'd applaud.
Love ya - Tess
Damn
Keats got an E!
Stylish
You navigate the genre with ease, and pulls off just the right bombastic gloom.
"transmogrified" jumps out at me. Makes me think of Calvin and Hobbes. Maybe I'm just unfamiliar with the lingo.
Thumbs up.
Gets a five from me
I'm not sure I like the letter ending because that "Why care?" seems like such a perfect place to stop. I also am not wild about the alliteration, think I'd like it less in my face but maybe I need to read it more. Otherwise it's brilliantly discordant and funny, classical and post-modern all stewed together. It's also a wonderful example of sound being more important than theme or even meaning: I don't need to understand this or get all the references because the words just sound so good in my mouth.
~
This is not to my taste but it is well written and obviously appreciated by people who know more about classical poetry than me and I can recognise the good stuff when I see it, so five. One thing I with give it is an A for euphony and I agree with the person who said it should be an audio. I think it is a poem meant to be read out (as mine are carefully written to be).
~
You take your craft seriously, twelve-o, and it shows. The moon visuals were brilliant, I never thought of the crescent moon in that ay before.
my little monsters are wanting breakfast. Thanks for sharing your poetry with us.
So I wanted to give this a bad review
'Cause you left a mean one on one of mine, but nope. It's a great poem, really nice formal approach, a lot of very striking imagery and wonderful command of rhythm. Seriously, read this one aloud. Feels perfect in the mouth.
*****
Five.
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