All Comments on 'How to Stop Being Human'

This:

both circling, the vulture waiting for the tiny breaths to cease

and for this, the photographer is also preying.

Maybe this:

both circling, the vulture praying for the tiny breaths to cease

and for this, the photographer is also preying.

Five.

Vr you are a good writer, at times great, avoid this:

the photographer's is also preying.

right at the end, you are preaching, negating any good that you have done in the rest of the poem.

These subjects have to be handled with great care, I avoid them for that very reason, it is tough enough to write poetry, and I don't think I could walk that line here

btw100

but I've reread it a few times and I think I agree with 1201 (lol as usual) that it's too glib a way to end a poem that is so sad and powerful. You could end it at "cease" (which imo is blah) or you could do something a bit different with that last line, maybe something about the photog's breathing could be an interesting contrast that would still make your point. The "preachy" thing has killed many a poem of mine: I really try now to (as 12 says) not go there. Still an excellent poem, V.

PS I always put my notes at the bottom in brackets as I guarantee you some reader will think it's another part of the poem!

it makes me want to take a stab at that pict myself, but with a different take. Hmmmm....thinking.

I am glad to see poem I posted has stirred up such emotion! (Although I realize it was probably more the photo than the poem.) I give you high marks although I must confess I like my interpretation better....lol...I have that tendency!

The vulture is a repulsive creature! Especially in the photo. But repulsivity is relative. Have you ever seen a vulture flying high in the air? The epitome of beauty! They are magnificent! Only up close do they repel. And yes, the vulture was just doing what he had to do. It is his nature. Just as it should be the nature of a human being to save. But it isn't always. We probably kill more than we save. And the photographer was following a code that photographers have set for themselves to not interfere. It is a hard call. But many photos have that intrinsic problem. Why didn't the photographer in Vietnam stop the Buddhist monk from setting himself on fire? It is a moral dilemna. One that lends itself well to the musings of a poet. Your poem is a good work that got me to thinking. Thanks for posting it!

The vulture could be considered to lack free will in this matter. He is not evil; he is simply acting up instinct. The photographer had choices. He made bad ones, motivated only be self interest. He had the awareness to realise he should off compassion.