All Comments on 'The Family Business Ch. 01'

by Errantry

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  • 6 Comments
Eric_ShiftEric_Shiftabout 13 years ago
I so hope you continue

Excellent start

The terminology really got me.

Well thought out plot and like I said, the old terms and references, the greek/roman money, the jewish money, the latin terms, EXCELLENT.

You have to continue.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 13 years ago
definitely needs more chapters

You have to keep this story going! One of the best first efforts I've read on this site. Can't wait to see where this story goes.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 13 years ago
Clicked out

Well written, but the premise just didn't work for me. Don't fret, you can't touch everyone's buttons. Best of luck.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 13 years ago
tribal

You are a mysogynist. Your contempt for women shines through your story, which is so far from erotic it is untrue.

Can you not write a story where male and female interreact on a mutually sexual basis without subjugating women?

You have a lot to learn.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 13 years ago

The previous poster is an idiot. The story is "untrue"? You mean like how it's set in a slave dealership in an alternate universe where the Roman Empire still exists? You don't say! As for saying the author is a misogynist, I think it's ironic that someone who is so obviously fixated on a narrow dogmatic interpretation of sex and gender relations isn't able to understand the concept of fantasy.

Personally I thought this story is great. I love the worldbuilding in the background and I like the evolving view of the narrator and his relationship with his new slave and corporate underlings.

jester9217jester9217over 7 years ago
Intresting

As I understand it your working with the thought that the Roman empire never fell curious where this will go also the sex scene was refreshingly real

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