...because the story is posted in Parts according to who's perspective we are currently with, and this part was a little insight into what was going through Kat's head when given this particular order. We are back with Bastion in the next part, and it will be a very good length.
Had been looking forward to another update. Wow to the first comment-ee, a little harsh regarding the error, even with the LOL. Been thoroughly enjoying this story, and quite a shock with the genre knowing who it comes from. Wonderful, kinky, and downright hot. Thank you for posting this!
I've enjoyed this story so far, and i find it an interesting take on the genera. This chapter, in particular, serves as a change of pace that you don't often see, which makes it interesting. That said, i think the reason you don't often see it is that in this format, its less effective. In the chapter by chapter, online format, I think there is a fine balance between giving your readers enough, and leaving them wanting more. It would seem like your plan is to do a long format story over several chapters. I think, through the first four, you've struck a nice balance. You've moved the story along, developed characters, and delivered consistent, well thought out action. In each chapter, I feel like we have learned something about the motivations of the characters, or we have seen them develop. And you've done that without delivering too much in one chapter, leaving your readers (including myself) wanting more.
In this case, i think you were trying for that with Kat, but you missed the mark. In the 2nd - 5th paragraphs, you started to go somewhere interesting with Kat, concerning her motivations, and I think that could have been developed more fully. You hinted at it, and then jumped right back into action without fleshing it out. Though you did surprise me with the direction you took, I thought you were going to have kat deny the right to punish as a submissive and return the cane to Bastion.
(is Bastion his actual name, or his title? given that he has a last name, it seems like he is the Earl of Bastion, and i'm under the impression that as a member of the peerage, he would be addressed as Lord Bastion, even by friends and acquaintances)
But even with the direction you went (which is totally fine and interesting), you cut it off too quick. I know you might have plans to switch the action to the Earl's point of view at this point, but its ok to have multiple POV's in one chapter, as long as you clearly delineate who's viewpoint you are writing from at any given moment.
anyway, sorry for the lengthy comment, its my 4th snow day off from grad school in a row out here in the middle of America, and i'm going a bit stir crazy... I hope you continue to keep writing and continue to impress. You're doing a great job!
I'm pleased that you appreciate the character development we have enjoyed writing.
I understand what you are saying about different POVs. We don't combine different ones in individual chapters because we take turns to write them. Sometimes we don't know, other than in outline, what the other party is going to write. This is fun because we can both end up surprised by where the story goes.
I actually think the last chapter was short because sacrificedangel batted back to me to carry on the story. Maybe she identified with Kat so much that she couldn't write a scene where she was punishing rather than punished.
Our 'hero's' name is, I suppose, Bastion La Motte. La Motte is the family name in the same way the Queen is a 'Windsor'. (Changed from Saxe-Coburg-Gotha and taken from Windsor Castle.) His name is Lord La Motte, Earl of Shorncliffe. (The name of his house being the same as the name of his 'seat') His cousin's are never going to be so formal as to call him 'Lord' and Bastion is not a stickler for this aspect of protocol. Being called 'Master' by Kat is much more important to him than being called 'Lord'.
I hope the snow clears up for you soon.
subjecttodesire
I hope you find the next few bits equally hot.
willieone
Be patient. Ch. 6 is 'pending' as you left your comment. LOL
'My bad' for doubling up the last 2 lines. Would you lke to comment how excellent the proof-reading has been in the other 10,000?
English
To short
but I liked it now where is the next chapter. LOL
To short..
but I liked it did you intend the repeat at the end or did you bugger it up mate. LOL
This section was short...
...because the story is posted in Parts according to who's perspective we are currently with, and this part was a little insight into what was going through Kat's head when given this particular order. We are back with Bastion in the next part, and it will be a very good length.
Excellent...
Had been looking forward to another update. Wow to the first comment-ee, a little harsh regarding the error, even with the LOL. Been thoroughly enjoying this story, and quite a shock with the genre knowing who it comes from. Wonderful, kinky, and downright hot. Thank you for posting this!
interesting
I've enjoyed this story so far, and i find it an interesting take on the genera. This chapter, in particular, serves as a change of pace that you don't often see, which makes it interesting. That said, i think the reason you don't often see it is that in this format, its less effective. In the chapter by chapter, online format, I think there is a fine balance between giving your readers enough, and leaving them wanting more. It would seem like your plan is to do a long format story over several chapters. I think, through the first four, you've struck a nice balance. You've moved the story along, developed characters, and delivered consistent, well thought out action. In each chapter, I feel like we have learned something about the motivations of the characters, or we have seen them develop. And you've done that without delivering too much in one chapter, leaving your readers (including myself) wanting more.
In this case, i think you were trying for that with Kat, but you missed the mark. In the 2nd - 5th paragraphs, you started to go somewhere interesting with Kat, concerning her motivations, and I think that could have been developed more fully. You hinted at it, and then jumped right back into action without fleshing it out. Though you did surprise me with the direction you took, I thought you were going to have kat deny the right to punish as a submissive and return the cane to Bastion.
(is Bastion his actual name, or his title? given that he has a last name, it seems like he is the Earl of Bastion, and i'm under the impression that as a member of the peerage, he would be addressed as Lord Bastion, even by friends and acquaintances)
But even with the direction you went (which is totally fine and interesting), you cut it off too quick. I know you might have plans to switch the action to the Earl's point of view at this point, but its ok to have multiple POV's in one chapter, as long as you clearly delineate who's viewpoint you are writing from at any given moment.
anyway, sorry for the lengthy comment, its my 4th snow day off from grad school in a row out here in the middle of America, and i'm going a bit stir crazy... I hope you continue to keep writing and continue to impress. You're doing a great job!
Thanks for all your comments
doubledownrob
I'm pleased that you appreciate the character development we have enjoyed writing.
I understand what you are saying about different POVs. We don't combine different ones in individual chapters because we take turns to write them. Sometimes we don't know, other than in outline, what the other party is going to write. This is fun because we can both end up surprised by where the story goes.
I actually think the last chapter was short because sacrificedangel batted back to me to carry on the story. Maybe she identified with Kat so much that she couldn't write a scene where she was punishing rather than punished.
Our 'hero's' name is, I suppose, Bastion La Motte. La Motte is the family name in the same way the Queen is a 'Windsor'. (Changed from Saxe-Coburg-Gotha and taken from Windsor Castle.) His name is Lord La Motte, Earl of Shorncliffe. (The name of his house being the same as the name of his 'seat') His cousin's are never going to be so formal as to call him 'Lord' and Bastion is not a stickler for this aspect of protocol. Being called 'Master' by Kat is much more important to him than being called 'Lord'.
I hope the snow clears up for you soon.
subjecttodesire
I hope you find the next few bits equally hot.
willieone
Be patient. Ch. 6 is 'pending' as you left your comment. LOL
'My bad' for doubling up the last 2 lines. Would you lke to comment how excellent the proof-reading has been in the other 10,000?
oh, wow!
Short, but arguably the best chapter yet.
Vengeance is best delivered by the least anticipated method.
Seriously 5-star.
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