All Comments on 'A Fool Stumbles Into Love'

by carvohi

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  • 42 Comments
AnonymousAnonymousabout 13 years ago
hmmmmmmmmmmm

You wasted thousands of words setting a scene and then wham bam thank ya mammm there a couple.

A fool writes a story is more accurate

AnonymousAnonymousabout 13 years ago
what?

im inclined to agree with the orevious comment, wtf? this guy was a huge wimp. i can't believe you told all if that just so you could conclude like this..

AnonymousAnonymousabout 13 years ago
Too Slow then Too Fast

I cannot agree with the prior two comments BUT...You write a great tale. I am sure I did what you wanted your readers to do. Cal was a typical "nerdy, socially inept wimp" who just did not see anything but what he so desperately wanted to see until it was too late. Sandy and her friends were the assholes everyone but their own kind love to hate. Maureen was the nice girl that really wanted to hang with the "in" crowd but in the end was true to herself. In short, we hated Sandy and her crowd, felt upset that poor Cal was so unseeing and felt sorry for him. I loved the story and I could see almost from the first he would end up with Maureen. My only problem was with how you slighted his infatuation with and his relationship with Maureen and how you totally ignored the fact that his "good friend" and his girlfriend helped set him up. He should have had it out with the friend or, if he was not involved, with his friend's girlfriend for setting him up like they did. Perhaps this, too, could be addressed if you write a sequel. You should consider a sequel to tell his and Maureen's story. You have set the sequel up wonderfully.

Well done from the SW MO HERMIT

AnonymousAnonymousabout 13 years ago
Great build up LOWSEY ENDING

You spent 4 chapters building a great story then you TOTALLY BLOW IT with a LOWSEY ENDING!!!!!! The great story deserved better....

AnonymousAnonymousabout 13 years ago
wasted

i cant believe you only wrote two thirds of a story! you must be a tv writer, they are alway ending shit like that.

DanielQSteele1DanielQSteele1about 13 years ago
Don't listen to the critics.

This was a good story. Maybe your hero was a little too nebbishy to be realistic but there are plenty of guys like that out there and too many women like Sandy. I liked the story and although it felt like the ending was rushed, it was a good ending. Keep it up.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 13 years ago
Good story but the end was rushed

It's a good story but for the end. The end feels like a rush job. If you had put some more depth in the resolution of the story, then it could have been really great.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 13 years ago

rushed ending

lili82lili82almost 13 years ago
ha

it was good, but Cal needs to grow a pair. and anon, it's spelled l-o-u-s-y, not l-o-w-s-e-y! if your gonna talk crap, learn to spell please!

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 13 years ago
Dry opinion

Tentative, sensitive and gentle story with a happy ending. Special thanks to the author for mixing character's thoughts with replies in dialogs. The mean girl being nice was a real fun to read.

MissElf1MissElf1almost 13 years ago
Poor Cal

Poor frustrated Cal. As I read the story, I had feared that you had somehow learned about a poor guy from my highschool and how he was toyed with by one of the bitchy girls (not even pretty, just mean.)

I thought that Cal was going to kill himself when he turned off onto the dirt road. I'm glad that he didn't. It would have been too tragic.

I do like that Cal found love in the end and he didn't just ignore her or blow her off. He was braver than most by going over to Mareen's place and talking with her. I look forward to the other chapters as well.

I do wonder if Cal's friend is going to do some butt kicking since he has been watching Cal's back for years. I wonder how much Warren's girlfriend had to do with setting Cal up. The chapter makes me wonder of things to come.

AnonymousAnonymousover 11 years ago

Best story i have ever read

I am looking to this series.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 11 years ago
Shitty Story...

This is really a shit story! How can someone be so stupid and not realize he is being played?!

AnonymousAnonymousover 10 years ago
Good Story but...

Dude, I'm loving the story right up until she drops the L bomb right at the end of the chapter. Way too early. If you ever do a rewrite consider taking that one sentence out. Thank you for the work....

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 10 years ago
Important in an era of social desperation!

Depicting love in terms of high intuitional values at this threatening juncture of civilized history requires both rare genius and moral courage. Thanks. Klem Kaddiddlehopper.

AnonymousAnonymousover 9 years ago
OMG!!

this is the first time i've given a story a "1" and felt it should've been a -10. it's too obvious. if i run out of things to do, i'll try chapter 2; if i don't, i won't.

AnonymousAnonymousover 9 years ago
meh

didn't like it. they're both bitches and he's just sad. and he keeps going back for more. it's sad and pathetic. I can't read.

rightbankrightbankover 9 years ago
good ole Cal needs to rethink his friendship with Warren

If, best friend Warren, thought either of those two players were ideal for Cal, he doesn't know him At All.

And they did not need Cal (and Warren) to intervene with the bikers. They could probably have taken them and their buddies for the proverbial ride.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 9 years ago
Nope that didn't work

Maybe not the same wicked witch as Sandy, but Maureen was a witch none-the-less. And there simply wasn't enough in the story to have me believe for a second that Cal would be in love with Maureen after both women had made fools of him. Maureen probably more so. She knew who and what Sandy was. She was the one that hustled and beat Cal at pool - she could have lost or split the balls if she was so good. And could anyone be as dumb as good old Cal? I'm sorry, but my researching Government men need to be a little bit brighter than you portrayed him. His seeming stupidity was really off putting. Not that this was badly written, it just wasn't believable and all of the characters had such enormous flaws that, in the end, there was no one I liked or rooted for. Maybe next time.

SELSTIMSELSTIMalmost 9 years ago
Sorry, to say

but I've seen girls act just like this. My first year in college, living in the dorms. These two girls were leading these two guys, from another dorm, on like they really cared for them, just to get rides to the bar and free drinks. Back then 18 was the legal age for drinking. Then their real boyfriends came up for a weekend and they actually broke away from the two guys they were using to embrace their boyfriends from home. I told them that was pretty cruel and they just laughed and said, "Thins out the herd, the weak from the strong". This was back in the seventies but these girls were so cold and cruel I remember it like it was yesterday. Those two guys didn't have anything to do with the two girls again and since freshman couldn't have cars on campus they were SOL because everybody in our dorm complex knew what they did to those guys. So, don't rate the story low because you didn't like the characters. It seemed pretty real to me. That's the thing about college you get to observe so many people that are raised so much differently than you. You just can't believe some of the things you see. Yes, even people that were as naïve as Cal but they came out of college a much wiser person. Great Writing, Great Story

carvohicarvohialmost 9 years agoAuthor
About Selstim's comment above...

I have daughters. I guess by now anyone who has read anything I've written knows that. One of my girls was a freshman in college, and one of her girlfriends had a hankering for a cute boy in one of her classes. She surreptitiously pointed the handsome lad out to my daughter in the hope of getting an opinion. An opinion is what she got; my daughter told her he wasn't worth the trouble, not to waste her time. As it turned out the poor dumb slob almost, I say almost, became a son-in-law. My daughter changed her mind and dropped him, but not before she cleared the competition first.

Women! I say...read Rudyard Kipling's poem "Deadlier than the Male." We men; we're such buffoons.

KarenEKarenEalmost 9 years ago
Thoughts

First, I disagree with those who find Cal and Maureen's falling in love too sudden. It was had been obviously building for a while, and just came to a head suddenly.

Second, what is a guy with very limited funds doing trying to pay for a gazebo for a friend who is barely more than an acquaintance?

KarenEKarenEalmost 9 years ago
I Forgot

Why the F did he still give her the gift when he saw what she was really all about?

It's not like it was personalized and couldn't be returned or given to someone else.

sbrooks103sbrooks103almost 9 years ago
Thoughts

We’ve already determined that his money is tight.

Maureen hustled him at pool and essentially “stole” his money, she’s not his girl friend, barely a friend, little more than an acquaintance, and he wants to PAY to build her a gazebo? Not only should he NOT pay for the materials, he should DEMAND SOME pay, even if it’s just a flat $100 or $200. If she doesn’t think that’s fair, let her take the design to a contractor or carpenter and see what the labor cost would be!

“She didn't like what Sandy what was doing. She liked her part in it even less.”

If she doesn’t like it, why does she keep doing it?

“Maureen had known what Sandy had been doing, and she'd done nothing about it.”

She did more than “nothing”, she had participated in Sandy’s lies!

sbrooks103sbrooks103almost 9 years ago
Further Thoughts

I agree with SW MO Hermit and MissElf1 that either Warren or Annie(?) either knew, should have known or at least NOTICED what Sandy was doing and warned Cal.

I also agree that it’s WAY too early for the L-word to be appearing!

AnonymousAnonymousover 8 years ago
good story ,

would be a great story with a little adjustment

.....

Warren & Annie , out of town on vacation while all this occurs.

& Maureen eating alot of Humble pie for a week while they build the Gazebo

coz the ending is just to abrupt

SampkyangSampkyangabout 8 years ago
OMG

That was soo good!

auhunter04auhunter04almost 8 years ago
Well

He found someone

882103882103over 7 years ago
Keep a dictionary handy

The story line is good and just the wright amount of detail, but keep a dictionary handy, this writer like to show off by using words not normally used by everyday people.

Rj17112000Rj17112000over 7 years ago
Amazing series

I recommend everyone to read this whole series cause this is the best....u will have great time with this story when u will observe how the character becomes bold slowly and how their love becomes strong and the BIG suspense.....must read all 9 chapters...5 stars from me

sbrooks103xsbrooks103xalmost 7 years ago
Re-Reading

I'm re-reading on the other site, came back here to comment. Very minor point with the pool game. He paid out $80 for the last game, there was no mention of the money he won in the earlier games!

sbrooks103xsbrooks103xalmost 7 years ago
More Re-Reading

The new version doesn't correct how his money is tight but he's insisting on paying for the gazebo! And how can he accept her going to the dance with Skip, especially after seeing her hanging all over him!

He "knows" why she didn't invite him to the country club? Why is he buying her a gift then?

Why are Warren and his girlfriend still getting off scot-free? They set him up with Sandy!

AnonymousAnonymousover 5 years ago
I don't understand,

Warren and Annie set Cal up with Sandy. They are both intelligent why would they set up their friend Cal with a bitch like Sandy? They had to know to know that Sandy was a self centered slut.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 4 years ago
Good guy story

Nothing wrong with a sweet dumb guy story!

nestorb30nestorb30over 3 years ago

Cal is to stupid to breathe

AnonymousAnonymousabout 3 years ago

Why does the author do this to main character men in his stories?

AnonymousAnonymousover 2 years ago

Why is everyone in this story smarter than Cal? Why is Cal such a wimp? It is okay for the MC to face adversity but to be made this dumb is stupid.

AnonymousAnonymousover 2 years ago

This is the first story I've ever given 1*. I always give at least two, if only for effort but this was so horribly studid, I lack the words to describe it.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 2 years ago

Nope, they were both bitches and he didn't deserve that treatment. Hope Maureen gets run over by a bus, nothing romantic about this story.

Lions86Lions86almost 2 years ago

this story is actually so bad. There are zero redeeming qualities for either of these bitches. giving this story a 1 is too high of a rating IMO

AnonymousAnonymous10 months ago

Good story, I liked it!

AnonymousAnonymous5 months ago

Too over done and I am only on the first page. I'll skim over the remaining pages. Won't vote this wouldn't be fair

Anonymous
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