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English
This is wonderful and really gets cranking
by the second strophe and then that fabulous third. Strong ending, too. The first strophe seems like an apology almost and I know you are going for accuracy but I wonder how much it's doing for the poem. :-)
The highlight
is the third strophe, which is music. IMHO, the opening starting as it did brought me into the poem. I do not think the opening is poor by any means, but compared to the strength of the middle and ending, it does pale a tiny bit.
This is a five in my book based on how grand the third strophe is, with the rest also being quite nice.
*
100! WTF, now I'm a fan!
I know he’s Ganymede, another gorgeous
bum-boy of the Gods
I don't know if Ang is right about the 1st S. but I'm sure glad I didn't miss it.
~
'bum-boy of the gods', classic! I warn you, I can see myself using that line in private life :)!
*
I like the meandering style here, effortlessly slipping form celestial to sensual to personal. A little different approach from your other Zodiac-y poems, and it worked out really well.
Oh, and this is the first time I've ever seen the word "daresn’t".
~
I am an Aquarian sometimes turbulent and often passionate very much like your poem!
Really quite good,
though "bum-boy of the Gods" seems a little overripe. Poet Guy likes it, though. And interesting use of "groyne."
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