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English
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I like the format, don't force, the concept tends to cliche
100
A couple
of pesky gram things bug me (Carnival fun house mirrors, Distort what used to be true). You have a good thought going, but maybe adding something to evoke smell--really pull me in, making it pop. Just an opinion.
I gave you a five because it's good
but I don't get how the structure supports what you're saying. Also agree with Espy that you need to put more life into the poem. It doesn't have movement for me--maybe that's the way you are ending the lines or maybe it needs a little something more.
A bit of mixed metaphor
going from carnival mirrors, to film reels and then exiting the stage, but it reads fairly comfortably. You'll want to edit line 5 -->"use" wants to be "used." Otherwise a fairly nice effort.
jth : )
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On first read it came over very clichéd but on rereading it I see it has much to save it
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Everything I want to say has already been said. I still see improvements in your technique.
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