Old hackneyed setup, certainly, but you did well in pulling it off. My only suggestion is that it moved a little too fast without enough build-up, but that is a petty complaint.
The next step, of course, is for all three of the women to have intercourse with him, then there will be the inevitable situation where one of them will "catch" the other taking care of him, then, upon confrontation, an "arrangement" will be made where he provides service for all of them on a scheduled basis, with the occasional "party" where he takes care of them all.
I'd estimate two to six more episodes, depending on how long you want to drag it out.
Did you have to stop it there. I was enthralled, then boom it was over. I like the story, keep goin.
by
Anonymous02/08/11
By all means . . .
please continue! This was a well-written story. Great pace with your story-line. Can't wait for your next installment.
by
Anonymous02/08/11
yes
please continue this story
by
Anonymous02/08/11
I agree, continue. Good story.
by
Anonymous02/08/11
not good
starts with attempted rape then a gang beating with no one going to jail and these idiots think it's a good story. i stopped part way down the first page it wasn't worth continuing. at best it was passable rates a 2/5 because you know how to turn on a computer no more. keep the violence out or put it in the nonconsent/reluctance or nonerotic areas
Perhaps you should have read just a bit further! Very clearly and about half way down the first page I wrote that ALL of the guys were arrested! Also, if you had read further you would have discovered that I did put the story in the correct grouping. Thanks for the '2' vote. I give you 1 out of 5 for quitting too soon! Trouble is, I KNOW you will never see this as I have no way of contacting you.
by
Anonymous02/08/11
Very good story. Very much enjoy your writing and look forward to seeing more
by
Anonymous02/08/11
Very Good start.
Please continue very soon, for first attempt it's excellent.
This is my kind of story, yeah the premise has been done before, but it just shows it's a good one. Story is very well paced, good build-up without getting boring. Feel free to milk this one for all you can get, this will make for a great series. Thank's for the read. Max052
Great story line at the start, gets a bit far fetched towards the end but well thought out and not to fast paced, hope you carry on with this and post more soon..
That was very HOT!!! Please continued. I can not wait for the next part. It was good to see brother protect his big sister. It is hot that she wants to take care of him. I hope sister, grandma, and most important mom go all the away to show him how much they love him.
by
Anonymous02/09/11
more more more
fantastic story I would love to read the continuing saga of the young man having his way with all three generations.....Every man's fantasy to get mom,daughter and grandma....oh how exquisite....
by
Anonymous02/09/11
please continue
this is a great start would love for it to keep going
This is one of you better ones from a great writer. Once you get past the arms tied to his sides as a pretense the women that get to him, build up to touching him in something of a realistic way for a fantasy. Love it.
As always great job you are wonderful story teller, Thanks for your time and effort.
by
Anonymous11/08/11
Outstanding Start!
Exceptionally well-styled! In clarity, I liked the way the hero conducts himself as a young and mature man. The relationship between the male and female characters in their actions of love and respect is of such superlative essence that this story can go in many directions for many chapters. While, coming back together to continually reveal that "Rick" is "the man-of-the-house" and he can satisfy the needs and wants of his slightly older sister, and his young mother, and young grandmother in one large household without another male figure. Also, the finances seems to be there or around the corner for many, many babies.
Please don't rush! Continue to develop and deliver "That's The Breaks" the way you started.
by
Anonymous12/29/11
Of course,
we want you to finish the story, even if it takes another few chapters! Keep the humor coming as fast as your characters keep cumming.
Woot!
by
Anonymous02/06/12
another wannabe writer
any story that has or talks about rape DOES NOT BELONG IN ANY CATAGORY EXCEPT NONCONSENT USE YOUR FAT HEAD FOR A CHANGE AND POST YOUR STORIES PROPERLY. THIS TRASH DESERVES A NEGATIVE 2,000
Let's see. Three pages of intergenerational incest, a giant rod, flying cum and all that.
And you want to change the ctegorie because of an ALMOST rape? It didn't even happen, idiot.
Dez, I know you've posted another chapter but, keep it up.
God, these commenters are so stupid. Their reading comprehension is fucking atrocious.
Due to the fact that you commented as the famous "Anonymous', I can only assume that your title to your comment is to describe yourself, as just "another wannabe writer".
But to your point about story placement: If I mentioned the space shuttle would that mean I should, no MUST place it under the Sci-fi category? Or; had I mentioned Elton John or Ellen DeGeneres would that require it to be placed as 'Gay'? And if I had mentioned Al Sharpton and Mary Higgins Clark would that scream for the 'Interracial' tag?
I mean no offense to the people mentioned above, they are used purely to emphasize your ignorance. IF you paid any attention at all to other stories you will notice that the majority of them could fit in any number of categories.
Last thing; although I could just hit the delete button and your dumb assed comment would vanish, I chose to leave it here, so that you can have something you wrote be posted someplace!
dezurtdawg
by
Anonymous02/25/12
Great Stories Dez!
First I have to say great job man with this story man. That other anonymous guy who was talking about the rape probably stopped reading when he got to that part. Can't wait to read chapter 2!
A super doopah 5* story. Don't worry about adverse comments, the ones I get are just as bad. I really enjoyed your work.
by
Anonymous04/04/12
hurr durr
this story belongs under coca cola category. The characters drink numerous cokes.
also, could've done without the granny. easily.
by
Anonymous07/18/12
WE NEED HONEST OPINIONS NOT KISS ASS ONES
if this site is to survive we need to start demanding that the violence be kept out of all catagories except nonconsent/reluctance. writers like this ass are ruining this site we see enough violence on the news we don't need assholes putting it here this story deserves a negative vote no more.
very nice story, as far as the granny goes i think its pretty cool myself, even grandma's like sex and as Rick is so tied up in his casts, it obviously means he needs all the help he can get, who better to help than his family, Grandmother included.
by
Anonymous04/11/13
PLEEAASSSEEEEE MORE this is sooooo HOT!!!!!!!!!!!!
VERY HOT ONE OF MY FAVS HOPE TO READ MORE!!!!!
by
Anonymous06/04/13
Get Over It
The Violence was short, non detailed and needed for the setup of the premise of the story.
Beyond that, I never gave it a thought.
by
Anonymous11/19/13
totally unrealistic
if she was such a bitch to him WHY would he ever want to go to her party in the first place? IF he went back to help her (and that is a big if) there is no way in hell he would ever want anything to do with her sorry ass ever again. he sure wouldn't want to ever have sex with her she made his life a living hell before this so she sure isn't going to change and he sure wouldn't want to find IF she would change. i agree this deserves a negative 2000 vote.
by
Anonymous12/05/13
Totally Unrealistic............You Think?
Not really. As another commentor said, "Get Over It". Nobody cares about plausibility. The story HOT and Sexy, and good!!
by
Anonymous12/12/13
Ugh, it was like a bad, unrealistic spinoff of two or three stories Ive read on here that did it well. I couldnt make myself read past the first page. I almost stopped at the brother saves sister at party repeat, but kept going. Made it till he said his pee pee was 9" and gave up. Sigh.
dezurtdawg: I like all your stories that I have read, you write very descriptive stories.
I read this one at least once before, I don't know if I commented or not. Mother/son incest is the best for me followed by brother/sister. Grandmother and grandson is OK, too as long as GM is not old and wrinkled. Good stuff, all. Thank you for writing.
dezurtdawg is my favorite author and loved this story.i thought everything tied in well and icompletly understand how he would want to get to know his sister better.oh and the fact that he has a 9 inch cock and the women in his family are all hot well it is fantasy.ive said this before but ill say it again for those who intlectually challenged people.these stories are like porn but with the added bonus of being able to put yourself in the story just like reading a book.and i personally would rather be well endowed than just average as i am in real life.so those who have a problem with these stories should just give up their man cards to their wives who they never satisfy and continue act like the men their not.
`
I laugh every time I see some jackass get pissy because people leave comments they don't like and then bitch because they did it anonymously. Whats the fucking difference? Nothing. It doesn't really matter and you're just pissy because their opinion differs from theirs and it kills you that everyone on the fucking planet doesn't agree with everything you think. Sheesh.
The story is decent and I kind of like it. The plot line is old and has been used many times before, and I might add that its been used much better by others... A bunch of guys magically had aluminum baseball bats and the dude didnt have a caved in skull and not one broken rib, but the guy he tackled had a bunch and was coughing up blood? Please, lol! I let it go because it's a plot device, but it was a crude and quick introduction piece.
I could have done without the 9" wang bit, I mean how many stories have we seen with some 18 year old kid sporting a donkey dick? Lol!
...and contrary to one poster, most of us do care for some sense of plausibility. Dont get me wrong, there are always things that we do or don't like that differs from everyone else (my grandma blowing me? Eeeewww!! The mom angle is kinda iffy, heh) but thats no reason for one reader to flame another.
The purpose of feedback is for the writer to take what he/she wants out of the posts, sift through the comments and improve and/or target their writing to improve their work. All the back and forth flaming crap is like watching a bunch of 12 year old boys arguing on AOL online over stupid crap! Heh.
...anyway, back to reading the story, waiting for the sister to get some!
Yes, continue!
Old hackneyed setup, certainly, but you did well in pulling it off. My only suggestion is that it moved a little too fast without enough build-up, but that is a petty complaint.
The next step, of course, is for all three of the women to have intercourse with him, then there will be the inevitable situation where one of them will "catch" the other taking care of him, then, upon confrontation, an "arrangement" will be made where he provides service for all of them on a scheduled basis, with the occasional "party" where he takes care of them all.
I'd estimate two to six more episodes, depending on how long you want to drag it out.
Very Good Beginning
Did you have to stop it there. I was enthralled, then boom it was over. I like the story, keep goin.
By all means . . .
please continue! This was a well-written story. Great pace with your story-line. Can't wait for your next installment.
yes
please continue this story
I agree, continue. Good story.
not good
starts with attempted rape then a gang beating with no one going to jail and these idiots think it's a good story. i stopped part way down the first page it wasn't worth continuing. at best it was passable rates a 2/5 because you know how to turn on a computer no more. keep the violence out or put it in the nonconsent/reluctance or nonerotic areas
DBRS
To DBRS 'Anonymous'
Perhaps you should have read just a bit further! Very clearly and about half way down the first page I wrote that ALL of the guys were arrested! Also, if you had read further you would have discovered that I did put the story in the correct grouping. Thanks for the '2' vote. I give you 1 out of 5 for quitting too soon! Trouble is, I KNOW you will never see this as I have no way of contacting you.
Very good story. Very much enjoy your writing and look forward to seeing more
Very Good start.
Please continue very soon, for first attempt it's excellent.
REAL F***ING HOT!
This is my kind of story, yeah the premise has been done before, but it just shows it's a good one. Story is very well paced, good build-up without getting boring. Feel free to milk this one for all you can get, this will make for a great series. Thank's for the read. Max052
great
Great story line at the start, gets a bit far fetched towards the end but well thought out and not to fast paced, hope you carry on with this and post more soon..
Great Story Line
You need to follow-up and let us Know if are guy gets any Pussy from the Family Females.
Hot
Please continue, great story.
Tremendous
Usually these stories about injured males are too predictable, but this managed to be highly erotic. My cock and I thank you.
Wonderful so far please continue.
Looking forward to more chapters.
Yippee !!!
Let's get his cock into stretching those little tight pussies . He's sure got a lot of lickin to do .
Great Story! Keep It Going!
Great Story! Keep It Going! And Soon I Hope!
Hot story
Wow! Great story, please continue
Good story
Please continue
That was very HOT!!! Please continued. I can not wait for the next part. It was good to see brother protect his big sister. It is hot that she wants to take care of him. I hope sister, grandma, and most important mom go all the away to show him how much they love him.
more more more
fantastic story I would love to read the continuing saga of the young man having his way with all three generations.....Every man's fantasy to get mom,daughter and grandma....oh how exquisite....
please continue
this is a great start would love for it to keep going
Very nice and hot story . Please continue.
hot story
please continue this story, it is one of your hottest.
Great Story
This is one of the hottest and best written stories that I've read about incest... I am looking forward to reading additional chapters...
please continue!! u the first naem i look for, if u had written any new stories :)
keep going
It's good, keep writting.
Keep it coming
This is one of you better ones from a great writer. Once you get past the arms tied to his sides as a pretense the women that get to him, build up to touching him in something of a realistic way for a fantasy. Love it.
Great Story
As always great job you are wonderful story teller, Thanks for your time and effort.
Outstanding Start!
Exceptionally well-styled! In clarity, I liked the way the hero conducts himself as a young and mature man. The relationship between the male and female characters in their actions of love and respect is of such superlative essence that this story can go in many directions for many chapters. While, coming back together to continually reveal that "Rick" is "the man-of-the-house" and he can satisfy the needs and wants of his slightly older sister, and his young mother, and young grandmother in one large household without another male figure. Also, the finances seems to be there or around the corner for many, many babies.
Please don't rush! Continue to develop and deliver "That's The Breaks" the way you started.
Of course,
we want you to finish the story, even if it takes another few chapters! Keep the humor coming as fast as your characters keep cumming.
Woot!
another wannabe writer
any story that has or talks about rape DOES NOT BELONG IN ANY CATAGORY EXCEPT NONCONSENT USE YOUR FAT HEAD FOR A CHANGE AND POST YOUR STORIES PROPERLY. THIS TRASH DESERVES A NEGATIVE 2,000
THE BREAKS NEEDS THE BRAKES
or troubles may ensue. TK U MLJ LV NV
re anon 06.02.12
Let's see. Three pages of intergenerational incest, a giant rod, flying cum and all that.
And you want to change the ctegorie because of an ALMOST rape? It didn't even happen, idiot.
Dez, I know you've posted another chapter but, keep it up.
God, these commenters are so stupid. Their reading comprehension is fucking atrocious.
To Anonymous 2-6-12
Due to the fact that you commented as the famous "Anonymous', I can only assume that your title to your comment is to describe yourself, as just "another wannabe writer".
But to your point about story placement: If I mentioned the space shuttle would that mean I should, no MUST place it under the Sci-fi category? Or; had I mentioned Elton John or Ellen DeGeneres would that require it to be placed as 'Gay'? And if I had mentioned Al Sharpton and Mary Higgins Clark would that scream for the 'Interracial' tag?
I mean no offense to the people mentioned above, they are used purely to emphasize your ignorance. IF you paid any attention at all to other stories you will notice that the majority of them could fit in any number of categories.
Last thing; although I could just hit the delete button and your dumb assed comment would vanish, I chose to leave it here, so that you can have something you wrote be posted someplace!
dezurtdawg
Great Stories Dez!
First I have to say great job man with this story man. That other anonymous guy who was talking about the rape probably stopped reading when he got to that part. Can't wait to read chapter 2!
Lovely story.
A super doopah 5* story. Don't worry about adverse comments, the ones I get are just as bad. I really enjoyed your work.
hurr durr
this story belongs under coca cola category. The characters drink numerous cokes.
also, could've done without the granny. easily.
WE NEED HONEST OPINIONS NOT KISS ASS ONES
if this site is to survive we need to start demanding that the violence be kept out of all catagories except nonconsent/reluctance. writers like this ass are ruining this site we see enough violence on the news we don't need assholes putting it here this story deserves a negative vote no more.
i agree with jane marwood
very nice story, as far as the granny goes i think its pretty cool myself, even grandma's like sex and as Rick is so tied up in his casts, it obviously means he needs all the help he can get, who better to help than his family, Grandmother included.
PLEEAASSSEEEEE MORE this is sooooo HOT!!!!!!!!!!!!
VERY HOT ONE OF MY FAVS HOPE TO READ MORE!!!!!
Get Over It
The Violence was short, non detailed and needed for the setup of the premise of the story.
Beyond that, I never gave it a thought.
totally unrealistic
if she was such a bitch to him WHY would he ever want to go to her party in the first place? IF he went back to help her (and that is a big if) there is no way in hell he would ever want anything to do with her sorry ass ever again. he sure wouldn't want to ever have sex with her she made his life a living hell before this so she sure isn't going to change and he sure wouldn't want to find IF she would change. i agree this deserves a negative 2000 vote.
Totally Unrealistic............You Think?
Not really. As another commentor said, "Get Over It". Nobody cares about plausibility. The story HOT and Sexy, and good!!
Ugh, it was like a bad, unrealistic spinoff of two or three stories Ive read on here that did it well. I couldnt make myself read past the first page. I almost stopped at the brother saves sister at party repeat, but kept going. Made it till he said his pee pee was 9" and gave up. Sigh.
except from the grandma part it was amazing!
dezurtdawg: I like all your stories that I have read, you write very descriptive stories.
I read this one at least once before, I don't know if I commented or not. Mother/son incest is the best for me followed by brother/sister. Grandmother and grandson is OK, too as long as GM is not old and wrinkled. Good stuff, all. Thank you for writing.
people who cant gve their name or handle suck
dezurtdawg is my favorite author and loved this story.i thought everything tied in well and icompletly understand how he would want to get to know his sister better.oh and the fact that he has a 9 inch cock and the women in his family are all hot well it is fantasy.ive said this before but ill say it again for those who intlectually challenged people.these stories are like porn but with the added bonus of being able to put yourself in the story just like reading a book.and i personally would rather be well endowed than just average as i am in real life.so those who have a problem with these stories should just give up their man cards to their wives who they never satisfy and continue act like the men their not.
`
I laugh every time I see some jackass get pissy because people leave comments they don't like and then bitch because they did it anonymously. Whats the fucking difference? Nothing. It doesn't really matter and you're just pissy because their opinion differs from theirs and it kills you that everyone on the fucking planet doesn't agree with everything you think. Sheesh.
The story is decent and I kind of like it. The plot line is old and has been used many times before, and I might add that its been used much better by others... A bunch of guys magically had aluminum baseball bats and the dude didnt have a caved in skull and not one broken rib, but the guy he tackled had a bunch and was coughing up blood? Please, lol! I let it go because it's a plot device, but it was a crude and quick introduction piece.
I could have done without the 9" wang bit, I mean how many stories have we seen with some 18 year old kid sporting a donkey dick? Lol!
...and contrary to one poster, most of us do care for some sense of plausibility. Dont get me wrong, there are always things that we do or don't like that differs from everyone else (my grandma blowing me? Eeeewww!! The mom angle is kinda iffy, heh) but thats no reason for one reader to flame another.
The purpose of feedback is for the writer to take what he/she wants out of the posts, sift through the comments and improve and/or target their writing to improve their work. All the back and forth flaming crap is like watching a bunch of 12 year old boys arguing on AOL online over stupid crap! Heh.
...anyway, back to reading the story, waiting for the sister to get some!
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