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A Native American Goddess in Love

bySamuelx©
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by Anonymous

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by Anonymous02/11/11

zzzzzzzzz

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by PoissonSurLaLune02/12/11

Just Some Thoughts

I liked the way you didn't introduce Amanda with load of exposition you sometimes use, and ditto for the University of Utah. That said, I would have liked to see her more fleshed out as a character, maybe more details about her relationship with Steve? The idea of two characters of color getting together in a traditionally pale city like Salt Lake certainly has appeal, but you just kind of introduce Steve and talk about how awesome he is, then drop the topic.

FWIW, it's something that's vexed me as well. I've been trying to put together a longer piece and it's a real struggle to reconcile characters/exposition with plot/action. I know it's not my place to tell you how to write, but I really hope you break out of your comfort zone a little and try some new angles!

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