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Lips

byoneiria©
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by Anonymous

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by vrosej1002/09/11

Disturbing

But good. Format's a bit strange and I think that the section:
from which there is
no return,

should be one line. Remember when you enjamb you create a new unit of meaning within the poem. From which there is doesn't cut it one its own. Love the 'event horizon throats'

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by butters02/09/11

this is different

made me take notice. i liked! certainly wasn't expecting the line that followed 'Lips' - straight away you took me in an unexpected direction. that's good.

your 'event horizon throat' and your 'hungry stars that float in a fetus universe' complete this unusual write.

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