All Comments  for

To Our Forefathers

byGuiltyPleasure©
All
Comments (10)
by Anonymous

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by MyZenTrail02/10/11

4-fathers

intriguing, interesting, impressed and I enjoyed this write (~.-)

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by theognis02/10/11

*****

Five.

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by Maria239402/10/11

excellent!

Slipped stitches in the tangle
of our blood line
leave loosened fibers in the
weakened weave,

~~I love the way this entire passage rolls off the tongue when read aloud. Your poem caused me pause to think about my own ancestors and the genetic legacy ( you know what I'm talking about) I am struggling with even now.

You are consistently a terrific poet. I don't know why that surprises me....well, it doesn't. I look forward to opening your poems like they are gifts just for me. :)

~maria

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by Angeline02/10/11

Beautiful!

Gave it a five. I contain multitudes, too, and I wish some of them would just go away! xo

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.

I like

a few of the expressions used in this piece. Especially the second part (I don't know the fancy term for the second part). The read also sounds good to my Espie ears, meaning the flow, starts and stops used in the line separation, and the consonant matching (slipped stitches, for example).

It is a start, an explanation, and then the final question.

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by ishtat02/11/11

!

I like it but wondered whether it might work as well with or without the first stanza, the title communicates so much.

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by twelveoone02/11/11

*

w/o much of a comment
I do like the first stanza too.

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by UnderYourSpell02/12/11

~

Having seen my family tree written down we found one or two 'slipped stitches'! Lovely poem enjoyed it very much

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by vrosej1002/12/11

~

Yowzers! This one is deserving of it's five. Not much I can add except that MAYBE you could have cut the 'of our' before 'lineage' but this is me being picky. Getting a recommend.

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by Paasha02/12/11

Good poem

I liked this poem especially the ending stanza, beautiful. Poor little black sheep.

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.

Click here to leave your own comment on this submission!  or
Back to To Our Forefathers  or
More submissions by GuiltyPleasure.

Add a
Comment

Post a public comment on this submission (click here to send private anonymous feedback to the author instead).

Post comment as (click to select):

You may also listen to a recording of the characters.

Preview comment

Forgot your password?

Please wait

Change picture

Your current user avatar, all sizes:

Default size User Picture  Medium size User Picture  Small size User Picture  Tiny size User Picture

You have a new user avatar waiting for moderation.

Select new user avatar:

   Cancel