Well, this one is going along nicely at the moment. What are we to expect from chapter two???
Frankie seems to have his head on straight. I got a little worried at the end there...just because Gloria's on the pill, it doesn't mean that Allie is???
I have to admit to a little shudder at the thought...lol
This one is really good both in characterization and in realism. The fact that he is constantly having a lot of women problems and some other things sounds about right for his age! Hope that this will turn into your best story yet.
Thanks.
...do I get the feeling of foreboding. We like Allison, we like Frankie. Allison doesn't take the time to explain her decision about the prom date, Frankie is devastated and starts dating, getting laid and hears the rumors about Allison so - he tries to move on.
Kind of late in the game for her to corner him and explain everything, she knows that his virginity is gone and hasn't displayed any hurt so.........
Well Bob, before you get the wrong idea, I am enjoying this and like all the other reader fans, hopping from foot to foot, like a little boy needing to go to the bathroom, waiting to read what happens next.
And...Sarah, oh oh - she has all the makings of another real loving relationship with him. Write and justify your way out of this one, of course, we know you can do it. This will be interesting!
Always good...oh, except for a few wimp stories you wrote.
Allison is really into sex and seemingly can't get enough so, I think she ends up going to frat parties with some of college friends during the week and the inevitable happens.
Ultimately, Allison has a few boyfriends, gets her degree, accepts a job out of state and
There is a wonderful and gentle plotting to this story that is very appealing. The characters are warm and genuine. I am I love with the two mothers. Brilliantly depicted. My mind is racing to anticipate your subsequent chapters...Sarah becoming the first Mrs. Frankie...hopefully the two mothers will be bumpin fuzzies. Great start!
This is a pretty straightforward coming of age story. The richness of the characters makes it a good read. Frankie is a hero in training. He defended Allison and rescued Sarah. We have Sarah's dad being a bit of a wild card at the moment but what does he really have to object to? His daughter got herself into a bad situation. Frankie cleaned up after her as best he could. It would have been nice for Backman to reimburse him for the hotel room and food. At times Frankie seems a little stiff and obtuse but other times he is flexible and forgiving. He certainly has a good heart. Lots of little questions to keep the reader engaged. Has Allison learned her lesson? What about Sarah? How about his time in the military? Will his women stay loyal while he is gone? How about Mr. Backman? I am engaged with the characters and they feel human and fallible. Looking forward to the next chapter.
As is the case with most of your stories, I've been well entertained since the first paragraph, and will continue to read the following chapters. However, if there is something to criticize, it is that this story is just way too much like a many of those you've published before. It seems that only the names have changed, but the tale remains the same.
I know that you occasionally toss out a story that is completely different, and that you often come up with some pretty inventive ending twists, so I won't complain too loudly, but I do want you know that it is something that your readers recognize.
I don't know where it will lead but story is good so I gave it a 5.
The last story I read that Bob wrote sucked to high heaven and I gave it a 1. I don't know how a writer can go from horrible to excellent but Bob does.
Logically it seems to me that since Allison is attending college she is going to start dating a college guy and naturally college girls don't like dating down so I will not be surprised if she dumbs Frankie for a college guy.
However, unlike the past, nowadays there are 3 college girls for every 2 college guy so it stands to reason that some college girls are going to settle for non-college guys. Further, except for the professions, trades pay better than college graduates so maybe Frankie and Allison will remain a pair.
Anything positive said in previous comments goes double for me!
I also enjoy the noir-ish terse and clipped dialogue Bob employs in his stories. It makes me want to upgrade the number of James Cain , Spillane , Chandler and Patricia Highsmith novels I have about the house. Also for a man of senior years JPB has a surprisenly almost sententimental tone in most of his co
Of age stories . I like it .
I can't imagine how the Allie/Sarah dilemma will develop. Maybe Allie will find someone at college and will simply drop out of the story. Only to return at a later date? Glad to see JPB remembered to put Pauline French in the story - sometimes he forgets.
English
Hey JPB
Well, this one is going along nicely at the moment. What are we to expect from chapter two???
Frankie seems to have his head on straight. I got a little worried at the end there...just because Gloria's on the pill, it doesn't mean that Allie is???
I have to admit to a little shudder at the thought...lol
And where will Sarah fit into this saga???
As always, you're entertaining Bob.
Amanda
A bit different . . .
. . . from your usual, but it reads well. I seem to remember those awkward days; they were much as you describe them.
Excellent Setup
This one is really good both in characterization and in realism. The fact that he is constantly having a lot of women problems and some other things sounds about right for his age! Hope that this will turn into your best story yet.
Thanks.
One of your more believeable stories, JPB....
Almost a page out of my life, have you been checking up on me. Looking forward to the next installment.
Actually this is a REALLY REALLY good story...
I have read it to chapter 3... and it is really really good
Why...
...do I get the feeling of foreboding. We like Allison, we like Frankie. Allison doesn't take the time to explain her decision about the prom date, Frankie is devastated and starts dating, getting laid and hears the rumors about Allison so - he tries to move on.
Kind of late in the game for her to corner him and explain everything, she knows that his virginity is gone and hasn't displayed any hurt so.........
Well Bob, before you get the wrong idea, I am enjoying this and like all the other reader fans, hopping from foot to foot, like a little boy needing to go to the bathroom, waiting to read what happens next.
And...Sarah, oh oh - she has all the makings of another real loving relationship with him. Write and justify your way out of this one, of course, we know you can do it. This will be interesting!
Always good...oh, except for a few wimp stories you wrote.
One More Thing
Allison is really into sex and seemingly can't get enough so, I think she ends up going to frat parties with some of college friends during the week and the inevitable happens.
Ultimately, Allison has a few boyfriends, gets her degree, accepts a job out of state and
Frankie and Sarah become an item!
Just putting in my two cents.
Chapter 2?
Delicious!
There is a wonderful and gentle plotting to this story that is very appealing. The characters are warm and genuine. I am I love with the two mothers. Brilliantly depicted. My mind is racing to anticipate your subsequent chapters...Sarah becoming the first Mrs. Frankie...hopefully the two mothers will be bumpin fuzzies. Great start!
Great start
This is a pretty straightforward coming of age story. The richness of the characters makes it a good read. Frankie is a hero in training. He defended Allison and rescued Sarah. We have Sarah's dad being a bit of a wild card at the moment but what does he really have to object to? His daughter got herself into a bad situation. Frankie cleaned up after her as best he could. It would have been nice for Backman to reimburse him for the hotel room and food. At times Frankie seems a little stiff and obtuse but other times he is flexible and forgiving. He certainly has a good heart. Lots of little questions to keep the reader engaged. Has Allison learned her lesson? What about Sarah? How about his time in the military? Will his women stay loyal while he is gone? How about Mr. Backman? I am engaged with the characters and they feel human and fallible. Looking forward to the next chapter.
Good story, but...
As is the case with most of your stories, I've been well entertained since the first paragraph, and will continue to read the following chapters. However, if there is something to criticize, it is that this story is just way too much like a many of those you've published before. It seems that only the names have changed, but the tale remains the same.
I know that you occasionally toss out a story that is completely different, and that you often come up with some pretty inventive ending twists, so I won't complain too loudly, but I do want you know that it is something that your readers recognize.
Harry
A very enjoyable story
The characters seem to be so real to life and the story is very well written and edited.
I'm concerned that the author has a lot of misfortune for the boy and in the end he will get dumped on.
I'll be watching for the next installment.
hahahahahha
Read it to ch 3 also, and I just laugh at the protagonist!!! Can't wait for the conclusion.
Great start!
As usual from you, your characters are well defined and the flow is enjoyable. Can't wait for the 2nd chapter.
more
Hurry with the rest of the story. It's to good to miss. Keep up the good work.
Nice start
I like the pace and the storytelling. This is all.
Enjoying this story very much ...
I agree with previous pacing comment. It is moving along nicely and there is good character development.
I don't know where it will lead but story is good so I gave it a 5.
The last story I read that Bob wrote sucked to high heaven and I gave it a 1. I don't know how a writer can go from horrible to excellent but Bob does.
Logically it seems to me that since Allison is attending college she is going to start dating a college guy and naturally college girls don't like dating down so I will not be surprised if she dumbs Frankie for a college guy.
However, unlike the past, nowadays there are 3 college girls for every 2 college guy so it stands to reason that some college girls are going to settle for non-college guys. Further, except for the professions, trades pay better than college graduates so maybe Frankie and Allison will remain a pair.
Anything positive said in previous comments goes double for me!
I also enjoy the noir-ish terse and clipped dialogue Bob employs in his stories. It makes me want to upgrade the number of James Cain , Spillane , Chandler and Patricia Highsmith novels I have about the house. Also for a man of senior years JPB has a surprisenly almost sententimental tone in most of his co
Of age stories . I like it .
YOU WOULD THINK OF NEXT
in a barber shop or shoe shine stand, TK U MLJ LV NV
Excellent start!
I can't imagine how the Allie/Sarah dilemma will develop. Maybe Allie will find someone at college and will simply drop out of the story. Only to return at a later date? Glad to see JPB remembered to put Pauline French in the story - sometimes he forgets.
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