Breathing Without Oxygen

*****

Wow. Definitely five.

hold my breath

took the words right out of my mouth

"The only sound
ticka ticka ticka"

nice write(~.-)

I like it

but was thinking how mysterious the poem would be if you didn't tell us the that the entity is a ghost. We would need to process more to understand.

Breathtaking.

I loved this one very much. It knocked my sox off. My only criticism would be that the change in stanza length was disconcerting but I am not sure how it could be fixed. Getting a recommend.

Very nice

I liked this poem and 5'd it. The ghost feels real and the misty loneliness throughout is haunting. However, I think the stanza's need to be reworked and not entirely sure if the first stanza should be the title. Often enough the eye makes the title part of the poem, more so the way Literotica publishes poetry. The title of this poem and the first line being the same makes it redundant, but a good poem in all. Thanks.

Evocative

This brought back memories of my own ghost time. Thank you for sharing it.

Initially I was going to agree that the stanza length change was a bit jarring. But it seems to evoke the idea that you are more complete, have more to say and tell more about her than you tell of your ghost. So in trying to discern your stylistic reasons, I think I actually like it. It's like a rip of the readers attention from you to her.

I love it when an author makes me feel. I enjoy of course laughing, I enjoy even more the sexual arousal I feel while reading the smut I enjoy so much, but those responses are fairly ordinary. It's the author that makes me feel sad, or even those that make me love a protagonist so much I actually cry during a read that ensures I truly consider the author and their daring behind their words.

I suppose I find these things.... compelling. Yes - it's my search of these things that keep me reading. Very nice.

Really lovely.

Thank you.