Hot n' Sour

*****

I had to think about your use of 'intension' here.

Five stars.

*

to be honest Tess, I don't like this, but no obvious reason why. I'll assume it is just me.
100

Well I like it!

The words are so carefully chosen and I love the measured pace and the balance that tips between the heat of the food and the heat of the encounter. You write erotica better than most I've ever read--you're very consistent in that, imo and this is another example of it.

Very well done....."disarm" happened to be a favorite word of mine these days ;)

Your use of

active verbs is what any good poet should aspire to. You have action and intent...things going on in your work which drew me right in. If only, if only other poets would learn this valuable lesson. ( that action makes a poem and an excess of gerunds makes for lazy writers and readers) It is the difference between an okay poem and an excellent one. You have succeeded. Terrific work :)

~ maria

ps....

I agree with Angeline on your talent in writing erotic poetry. Have you considered submitting some of your gems to Clean sheets? They would be lucky to have you there.

It reads

with such subtlety you can't help but be drawn in. Good tips on the action verbs, maria. They do make this special.

Noted,
learned--
now use, espie.

This is erotic, yet not flaunted in your face like spilled (i wanna say spilt) rice. Like looking at tight panties and wondering what joy is hidden. My nipples aroused in the first three lines just thinking about the action.

Cool

Sexy, pungent stuff. I found the stanza breaks unsettling but that could have been me.

Just gorgeous

and so erotic. I can't say much more than the previous posters, but the sense of time and place is a delight.