....ambivalent about this. I love the poem but the title throws me, she seems to not necessarily have autistic tendencies, I needed a bit more info.
Dreams make great poetic fodder and this does have a dream-like quality.
Tess + 4 (really liked it - good read)
having worked with autistic young people, but it works as an image really well for the poem, too. It conveys their disjunctiveness and love the use of "ruptures" and that last great line.
I'd consider putting some space between natural breaking points because the densely packed language and puncutation kind of gets in the way of the reading--maybe stretch it all out some, you know? I think the dialogue needs to be broken out on separate lines at least. Just a thought but see what you think. :-)
To clarify this poem, it was based on a dream where I was the young man in question. The quote at the beginning was spoken by the girls father at what would be the end of the poem.
My son is autistic and I have spent a great deal of time with people with this disability. I was meticulous about making sure she displayed traits appropriate to someone with high functioning autism.
Point taken about it needing to be opened out a bit :).
disarranged, Not a bad poem, maybe a few more reads and it will dawn on me. I can't not read you :)
this works for me 100% as a flash fiction
as a poem, not so well.
you have absolutely captured and conveyed that glass wall that exists between h.f autistics and people considered 'normal' (whatever 'that' is) - you create tangents, cut-offs ...the unexpected..
Click here to leave your own comment on this submission!
orBack to The Autistic Bride
orMore submissions by vrosej10.
Edit comment orSubmit Comment
Comment posted successfully - click here to view it or write another.
Title of your comment:
Your public comment about The Autistic Bride:
Please type in the security codeYou may also listen to a recording of the characters.
Title your feedback:
Your feedback to vrosej10:
If you would like a response, enter your email address in this box:
Feedback sent successfully - click here to write another.
Login or Sign Up
All contents © Copyright 1998-2012. Literotica is a trademark. No part may be reproduced in any form without explicit written permission.
Terms Of Services|Report A Problem|Privacy
Password:Forgot your password?
Your current user avatar, all sizes:
You have a new user avatar waiting for moderation.
Select new user avatar:
Upload and save
User avatar uploaded successfuly and waiting for moderation.