All Comments on 'Cyntha Trains Us To Be Slaves'

I hope there's more!

It seemed like you started in the middle with the three of them kissing. Then there was the seemingly immediate transformation of mom and daughter into slaves. Also, there are too many syntax and spelling errors that made ones eye stop at these places and slow down the reading.

Get an editor and watch your grammar. You have an excellent story here that could, should, go for many chapters if you slow down and spell out who the players are, the exquisite seduction, and their myriad adventures of mother/daughter slaves to a transsexual.

Fix this and you have a prize winning story.........

.Sadly, I only wrote these chapters as a sort of experiment...I only wish I had the time to expand them further...I will just have to act out my wicked thoughts in reality...: ) Yum!

This was painful to read. Then try to be clever with the writing, the dialogue and maybe have characters that aren't made out of cardboard and that behave in a plausible manner. Because not one of the people in this story were very likeable and they didn't have the IQ of a grape between them. In the end there was nothing erotic, interesting or entertaining about this mess. No stars.