homeRomanceSex on FirePublic Comments

All Comments  for

Sex on Fire

byB59001©
All
Comments (1)
by Anonymous

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by Anonymous02/23/11

Nice but a little distracting

Sometimes your word usage/sentence structure detract from the story. Read your first and last sentences out loud. Then try to convey the same ideas with a couple of sentences, instead of cramming it all into one run-on sentence. Also, you might want to find some other transition words besides "so".

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.

Click here to leave your own comment on this submission!  or
Back to Sex on Fire  or
More submissions by B59001.

Add a
Comment

Post a public comment on this submission (click here to send private anonymous feedback to the author instead).

Post comment as (click to select):

You may also listen to a recording of the characters.

Preview comment

Forgot your password?

Please wait

Change picture

Your current user avatar, all sizes:

Default size User Picture  Medium size User Picture  Small size User Picture  Tiny size User Picture

You have a new user avatar waiting for moderation.

Select new user avatar:

   Cancel