Holy Shit Ch. 03

A good ending

Great story. Well done and very kinky.

Thanks for the good read

Great story.

I love when a family cums together. Great ending!

Liked it - fast & fun!

Sure beats reading that wimp / slut horse shit that Matt M dribbles out and that fag shoe-no-IQ laps up like a squealing pig.

Ruined by stupid ending

Once again a story ruined by a stupid ending. First becky says she just wants ron, and then she suddenly jumps her dad. Stick with your story instead of rushing, and throwing in a bunch off crap just because you think that`s what the readers want. The two first parts, and the last part without the ending was enjoyable, and you had humor, good building in the story etc., but the end was just rushed. And most important, lots of the readers, myself included doesn`t want stories with multiple cocks. That ruins every decent story....

ruined

adding the dad killed the story you had a real winner up til then now you have shit this deserves a minus 200 and needs a total rewrite


DBRS

To DBRS

Sorry you didn't like my ending. Trust me, it happens that way sometimes. But really, minus 200? WTF! However, I have noticed that you comment on many stories, yet I don't remember ever reading one comment of yours that was positive. Why is that? Perhaps it is because your signature, DBRS, stands for 'Dumb Bastard Rabid Skunk'!

Too bad you don't have the balls to get a member name so each of the author's you trash (that would be ALL of us) could send you some 'feedback' that we would know that you will receive.

To everybody else, sorry, but I just had to vent.

dezurtdawg

Great ending to a great series.

That was VERY intense and the way you found a way to bring in the father was nice. Now as to the other ppl that commented the sister fucking the dad was hormones... a steaming hot and horny girl will not tell a guy to go away.

i wounld have kept the dad out of it

the dad wounld have been best left out of it

I enjoyed this

The whole story caught my imagination, in the end the father was bound to find out and the way he entered into the story was just right.

thank you for this

To me the ending took all the fun out of the story. You had a good enjoyable story up to that point, but for me that made it corny and unrealistic. Sorry, but I can't understand why swingers and sharing is placed in so many stories here. To me that is the biggest turn off there is. There is no doubt that you are a good writer, and you have some good stories, but I'm not able to enjoy stories with this kind of theme. Sorry.

bringing the dad in was crap you already said he sucks in bed so why would the girls enjoy it

Really dude u said that father came way before any girl and said he would be asleep after he cam not be ready to go again bringing in the father was the wrong desision u ruined the great storie u had going

it was good till then but the end made the rest of it bad

Huh?

I thought the dad had a small dick and was terrible in bed in this story he's nearly as good as rom. FAIL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

How did dad get involved

Holy shit 1, 2, 3 are a great story, so why spoil it by bringing dad into it.
You could of taken this a stage further with Mandy moving in with them,
Mum Kicking Dad out,
Ron and Mandy becoming real lovers to disquise whats going on to the neighbours.
Mum could have had Rons Baby and so could his sister.
Then Mandy's mum finding out what going on and asking to join in, with Ron doing a sex test to see if she is up to it.
Then they could have lived happily ever after.

ruined

adding mandy and the dad ruined it a total waste of time

nice

Hot Really Hot.. I don't think the story was ruined by adding dad but i think it would have been better to get rid of him mom kick him out or something. I was hoping to see Ron and Mandy get married and or pregnant and join the family.. I think that it would have been really hot to have Mom Mandy and Becky all get pregnant by Ron actually. Nothing screams stud like a potent seed and nothing screams woman more than a horny pregnant woman.. I do like all your stories ive read so far

Holy Shit indeed!

Five Stars!

"Anti-climatic" chapter

By far ch. 1 and 2 were great and a nice build up to ch 3. Was real disappointing that you added the small dick, no stamina Dad in ch. 3. Do us all a favor and rewrite ch. 3 and ditch Dad. A better ending would be for Ron to marry Mandy, and have mom and Becky stay with them in an erotic trio, not to mention a little impregnation to one, two or even all three of those cum hungry vixens. Think about it and keep up the writing.

blew it

Dad and Becky together ruined the story for me

I agree with the previous posters, adding dad to the mix ruined it. He hasn't sexually satisfied his wife ever apparently, so why the fuck should he get a shot at Becky and Manda? Adding a crappy lover to the mix just for the sake of another taboo failed, the couplings were pretty taboo as it was and were exciting. Three stars, five for the story up to the point he was added.

Not the first of your series where the dad ruined the ending.

He couldn't satisfy one woman, he's not going to suddenly be ringing all three of their bells... 'Sides, he screws with the 'harem' theme ya got going.

hilarious

i read this series while high.

in my mind i used a hillbilly trailer park accent.

pure awesome

Would have given 5 stars but...

I would have given you five stars for this chapter but adding Dad to the mix ruined it! If he couldn't satisfy his wife at the beginning, he shouldn't be able to satisfy his daughter or her friend at the end!

Dad ruined it

Adding dad ruined it!

why adding dad?

That just ruined a good ending, i loved it up to that point thought.

Since so many feel this ending ruin the story, I suggest you guys do what I did. Consider it a 2-part story instead of a 3-part, and try to forget you ever read this chapter. =) Doesn't seem like the author listen to the reviewers anyhow, so I doubt there will ever be a REAL albeit alternate ending, unless someone else wants to write it lol... Anyhow, cheers, and may the "Limpdick Cumwad Daddy" be either rendered impotent for the rest of his life or suffer a Lorena bobbitt accident... =)

Ruined the ending!!

I have to agree with other readers and just think of this story as a 2 part story, because you totally just fucked everything up by adding the dad in the mix in this chapter. I don't get it. If the dad couldn't satisfy the mom in the first place how in the hell is he able to fuck the other two women. I'm sorry, but you totally fucked up a really good story. I hope you listen to your readers, and not go and fuck up more stories by adding another male character in a already great mix. Tough love man.

About the dad...

I don't feel it ruined anything, just another angle.
And why wouldn't he have more than usual with 2 hot young babes wanting his cock?

I know it would raise my staff.

Ruined it with the dad!!!

You totally ruined it with adding the dad i loved it up till that point...and i think that one of the girls should have gotten pregnant...

Leave him alone

Well you know what? You guys can go write your own stories and not "fuck it up".

Great Story!!!!!

WOW, if any other people didn't like your story forget them, they don't know how to apreciate a good story and the effort you put in it. CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!! It's YOUR story and it really is great!! As long as YOU are happy and satisfied with it, that's the important thing. And thanks for such a great story. Keep it up.

incestlove

Vey xciting story,though a bit too long and the Dad should have not have been in the picture!!!!

The best

Didn't think they would ever thaw dad out but I see it happened . So naughty .

You have a great experience

in killing unnecessary male characters (like some bastard dad, who died in a car accident with a whore - that was in a different story though...)
So, why you left dad alive in THIS story? He totally ruined the mood. Or at least, you should keep him in a workplace for another month.

to: Anonymous 06/12/13

I'm sure you have no problem commenting on how poorly a professional athlete performs, or how bad a musician does on a new song or live performance (even tho you have never played professional sports or performed publicly), but you DO have a problem with readers letting an author know what they think?

OK, Just so we know where you stand


@DesurtDawg

I too have a problem with you bringing Dad in at this point. Mom had gone out of her way to totally deride his size, performance or desire, but he now is a stud second only to Ron? Really?

why

add unnecessary characters to the plot?

mom, becky and ron was enough, this part ruined the series.

what can you expect from a hack like the DAWG

once again he ruined a story, i keep hoping he will get smart and listen to the readers but NO he is too stupid.

Dude fist don't listen to the crap of it not a good story is greatkkeep it going to the other readers that tear it down you do better

Damn good story i hope there will be more of this story to cum.

WTF??

Not about the story, but the comments? WTF?? what are these little ass-wipes and why are they so concerned about the father?? the poor guy is in a sex rut, and has performance anxieties?? and that makes him worthy of death?? I think you the author know your characters back stories, and these little ass-wipes need to go write their own damn stories, and leave you alone.

Complaints

I have checked the pages of the know it alls and not a one of them have a story posted. If they know so much why haven't they written and posted here?

To ANONYMOUS 3/10/14

If you can do the story better, I think everyone here would welcome it but I highly doubt that you could do it even half as good. Instead of running your mouth, write it for us, or are you just going to keep on hiding behind ANONYMOUS?

Maybe you run your mouth because you're gay? Well I'm Bi so I'll challenge you to write one half as good as this. I'll give you a BJ that will curl your toes if you can do it and it doesn't matter if you're straight or Bi or gay.

.

go beyond.... someone typoed fist...

Fisting, water sports, bi.... take it to the next level with a mom in need.
Good job so far.

Silence

Great story. Sorry about them fucktards complaining. They dont know how to write a story.....

The original ending was better

I liked that the father is now an active and willing participant since I didn't think he deserved to be cuckolded. I honestly don't see why so many people didn't like it. I've seen FAR worse stories here.

My own stories will likely never be found here. I don't write for this type of audience as my own fetishes can be extreme. I don't need the kind of negativity that is to be found here.

I just skimmed over the old part but I loved the rewrite best

Better

The rewrite was definitely better. The character of the father was already established. I like the way you kept him in character at the end of the rewrite.

DERRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!

WASSA GREAT STORY TILL DAD CAME IN,,,CUMPLETELY RUINED IT,,,,THNX DEWD

Original

I preferred the original ending. Stick with your gut next time.

OMG

Who would complain about either ending, i like the last one better then the rewrite... the family that plays together stays together. maybe dad will learn control and give it to mom a little better and enjoy blow jobs and eating at the y....