It was OK for a while and then the narrative kept switching back and forth between past tense and present tense, to he point that it got in the way of the story itself.
I think it was great.Hope you write more
I like the story ,the pace was fast and visualization came very easy and most important it made me hard . Good work xx F.R.
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English
Narrative Problem
It was OK for a while and then the narrative kept switching back and forth between past tense and present tense, to he point that it got in the way of the story itself.
Good
I think it was great.Hope you write more
Good fast horny fun
I like the story ,the pace was fast and visualization came very easy and most important it made me hard .
Good work
xx
F.R.
Click here to leave your own comment on this submission! or
Back to Exit 16A or
More submissions by agentmom.