The story is flat, the characters are flat, and there is no plot. The sex scene is unrealistic. The flirting is simplistic at best. Few males have quick second orgasms if they have them at all, and a female falling with a male's cum the first time and swallowing is unbelievable.
You write well which is a positive, but you need to how to tell a story that the reader will believe is realistic.
by
Anonymous03/09/11
A Shutty Story of Bitch Betrayal
Whats sexy about another white bitch want nigger dick? Its the same old story. Mindless sluts who have nothing tro live for think they are cool fucking blacks.
So what.
Its a shitty idea and a cum slut who cheats on her husband for cheap thrills will pay in the long run. Over 98% of nigs beat their white sluts. Enjoy and die of disease.
English
poor
poor nathan hopefully he will meet a woman somsday and get rid of the slut.
Unrealistic
The story is flat, the characters are flat, and there is no plot. The sex scene is unrealistic. The flirting is simplistic at best. Few males have quick second orgasms if they have them at all, and a female falling with a male's cum the first time and swallowing is unbelievable.
You write well which is a positive, but you need to how to tell a story that the reader will believe is realistic.
A Shutty Story of Bitch Betrayal
Whats sexy about another white bitch want nigger dick? Its the same old story. Mindless sluts who have nothing tro live for think they are cool fucking blacks.
So what.
Its a shitty idea and a cum slut who cheats on her husband for cheap thrills will pay in the long run. Over 98% of nigs beat their white sluts. Enjoy and die of disease.
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