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English
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Much better than your other offering this evening. I love this one, clear imagery and more flow. My only technical recommendation is ditch the and in the first stanza, yes ands again but they are often unnecessary in poetry.
a global approach that turns
quite personal and then hints at the stellar reaches. i really like this, NS! you make me feel each strophe, each action and you make this feel a BIG poem, despite small imagery...
it leaves me with the corny 'one small step for man...' phrase rolling around my thoughts. solid 5
*
this is a good poem. anon likes
Devilish Dylan
When Dylan Thomas wrote the line : "And death shall have no dominion" I figure he did so as a wind-up aimed at the poetry conjunction police. Pompous, pernickity poets pissed off; DT pissed. Result.
Stay loose. Anotheranon.
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