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Gravity #2

byNeonSubtlety©
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by Anonymous

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by vrosej1003/09/11

~

Bit sci fi for my tastes but this is personal opinion. Ditch the two ands in that poem and it's be stronger for it.

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by butters03/09/11

when we revolve around a heavenly body...

we're too often star-struck for our own good. released, we are then left feeling as useless as a compass, spinning idly, bereft of direction...

i did prefer your other, but that's not to lessen the impact of this... for me, this is a 4. i wonder if it's not that phrase 'swollen eyesacks' that puts me off ever so slightly. a personal thing, and i apologise for bringing that prejudice to your poem :)

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