A Long Time Coming

GreAt story

Enjoyed the story yes you should make it a series
add a lil spice to it maybe let his boys fuck her or her sister should fuck him.

*****

Nice first effort.

nice

Who is Sydney? Did you make a mistake or is that her online name?

More

Can't wait to read more!

ok

good story. Good sex scenes and descriptions. You need spellcheckm

Great Story

This is a great submission and I want to read more! It's just right!

good start!

Great first submission - really looking forward to your next chapter. Charlotte and Scott have come so far already, having been in contact for a year before this story starts and everything seems hunkydory between these two. You could almost be at the last chapter of a story about them. Maybe it would be good to build in a few flashbacks throughout your story to help fill in the history of their developing relationship? But that's just a thought, you probably have your story mapped out anyway - intrigued to see what comes next.

Also, I really liked both of their characters from the word go and I actually feel invested in them and want to know more about them. I have to say, that's pretty good going with a 1 page opener!

As I said before, great start - keep going! :)

eachother

Good Start

Hey there you are off to a good start! "eachother" 2 words there. Also at one point, "To his surprise, he felt Sydney pressing her ass back against his groin, grinding into him subtly" you wrote Sydney instead of Charlotte.

Way to go otherwise, great editing as well!

Good Start

Two things though Each Other not eachother,and whois Sydney?

Good First Story

I'm always glad to see a new author of black woman/white man stories. Please continue!

We want more!

A good start. Hope you can develop this story into a touching series as I want to get to know more about Scott and Charlotte and the ups and downs of their relationship. Good IR stories are hard to come by and I am glad to chance upon your talented writing. Hope to see your next chapter soon.

Need MORE please

GREAT beginning!!!!!

Good Start Lady.

Keep 'em coming; the stories, I mean. I Luvitblack, and this is a good one.
Best sex this bi guy ever had has been with black ladies, and once with a guy.
Care to let me know when you post the next one? frankiecee@gmail.com

Wonderful start! You should definitely develop this into a series. I can't wait to read more about Scott and Charlotte =)
Keep up the good work.

Loved it....but...

I feel that the character lack substance. I realize that we the readers are just meeting them but, first impressions are everything, right? At first glance they seem uninteresting. All we know it that they are both very attractive people, and that he is rich. You didn't give any insight into their thoughts. I am also really looking forward to discovering what the conflict of this story will be because with such idealized characters the plot will have to be genius to hold the attention of fans of writers like pepperpace. I am not usually this critical, but i feel that you have a lot of potential. Now that I am at the end of my thoughts I realize that I haven't really said anything very encouraging.....( I thought it over and i don't have the heart to erase it. I want you to continue this story and I mean this to be constuctive, but I feel I may have been a little blunt in my meaning and intentions don't translate well anonymously over the internet. I'm have now come to the conclusion that I am trying to ramble away rudeness, and that is an impossible task, so I bid you a good night and happy writing. If you are still reading at this point I am quite impressed.)

Nice one-shot

I loved the passion between her and Scott, and l like the way they first met each other. I thought that was cute. And the sex, it was Very Hot!

A line I found funny was: "Charlotte hung up her phone and walked toward him, trying to keep herself from tripping like a moron, or even worse, running towards him like those couples on Wife Swap."

Everytime i've watched Wife Swap, I couldn't help but think how silly those couples looked, running madly towards one another. So I got an amusing visual in my head as I read that line.

Anyways, great work on this, and i'm now looking forward to reading the other story that you posted. :)

Again I loved the short and sweet read

Amazing

Love love love