All Comments on 'Giselle'

by UnderYourSpell

Sort by:
  • 4 Comments
twelveoonetwelveooneabout 13 years ago
*

I distinctly hear a Clash tune in this, a 5

buttersbuttersabout 13 years ago
i like your

corvoisier kisses, and readily accept 'gay abandon' linked so intimately with Paris in this reminiscence. the thunderclouds of war, the noise/worry keeping her awake all nigh, don't entirely blot the memories inspired by the blue thread of dawn.

i have a problem with no comma after 'Giselle', L3. makes the first lines read oddly. if you cared to, and i know not many people do, you could opt for now punctuation by small adaptations to your linebreaks. :)

gay paris - like your conjuring here, annie :flower:

vrosej10vrosej10about 13 years ago
~

I intially thought of the classical tale of Giselle (my mother tortured me with classical ballet music etc) but was much happier to discover it was about Paris and I am presume the 1890s, Toulouse Lautrec etc. I agree about the errant comma but it doesn't suffer too much for the lack. Five and a recommend.

bogusagainbogusagainabout 13 years ago
****

You can completely ignore this but in the first line 'draw' scratches in my ear. I think of a line scratched in the sky and being Paris, I think dawn would 'paint' a line in the sky. It's so much more a sensual way of mark making than to draw.

Nice poem though.

Anonymous
Our Comments Policy is available in the Lit FAQ
Post as:
Anonymous