Not good at golf, not good at dancing, not good at making decisions. What is this WIMP good at? WATCHING?
what's the asshole waiting for before taking some hard decisions??
The second coming!!
Typos a plenty - too numerous to mention. Skipping back and forth in time one paragraph to the next. Vice Captains playing with themselves or is it a Vice Captain and a Lady Vice Captain paired up.
I realize by choosing to tell your story from your jail cell - you're informing the reader you know how it all came to pass. Yet the telling seems as inexplicable to you as it certainly is to us.
You've got some good bones here - give some muscle, some deeper coherence. State the facts through narrative and dialogue - let them tell the story
to bad i had high hopes you were not a hubby basher but this fellow (when he gets it) is cleaning someone elses leavings... just a also ran wimp cuck story teller...
Thanks for the effort.
Click here to leave your own comment on this submission!
orBack to The Lady Captains Year Ch. 02
orMore submissions by fawguy88.
Edit comment orSubmit Comment
Comment posted successfully - click here to view it or write another.
Title of your comment:
Your public comment about The Lady Captains Year Ch. 02:
Please type in the security codeYou may also listen to a recording of the characters.
Title your feedback:
Your feedback to fawguy88:
If you would like a response, enter your email address in this box:
Feedback sent successfully - click here to write another.
Login or Sign Up
All contents © Copyright 1998-2012. Literotica is a trademark. No part may be reproduced in any form without explicit written permission.
Terms Of Services|Report A Problem|Privacy
Password:Forgot your password?
Your current user avatar, all sizes:
You have a new user avatar waiting for moderation.
Select new user avatar:
Upload and save
User avatar uploaded successfuly and waiting for moderation.