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Grandpa

byExakta66©
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by Anonymous

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by UnderYourSpell03/18/11

~

A nice sentiment but your meter is out on nearly every stanza, try reading it out loud to yourself and see where the words make you stumble

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by butters03/20/11

agree about this needs a little

tickling to even things out, but that's easily accomplished. this is a story-telling poem, and the language used reflects this. it has a kind of old-fashioned charm about it. with a little more attention to smoothing out your rhythm, this is a workable poem. keep writing :)

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