It also needs a major rewrite and several drafts. It's an interesting idea, but right at the start the hook is poor, and it takes more than that to get into the story. The first chapter left me cold, and uninspired.
Kinda horrific compared to most of your stories. Kinda enjoyable in a Stephen King sort of way with the whole lobotomy thing. I'm surprised she still took with Fletcher even after he rescued her, considering he was instrumental in the beginning of the plot, as even if he was ignorant but not excessive, he was very cruel humiliating her. Then after all that, I'm sure she would be traumatised and have PTSD and not be ready for a relationship. I can see her thought processes so I can understand where you're coming from. Just gotta read Too Clever and The Lawyer now! Thanks for writing
English
Excellent work!
This has been a far better than average story. (There were a few writing errors, but overall, an oustanding tale.) Again, "excellent work".
Love it...
Ok
I love reading. I can feel when I read. I cry and smile and tense stories like this one makes me smoke a lot. But i love it. Good job.
Fuckiing A
Top notch stuff man,,I swear to god this could be a movie I was scared you were going to kill of sorrel, glad to see you didn't
Thanks.
A great story. Thanks for the happy ending.
Q - Why is Sorrel sore ?
A- Cos carvy kicked him in the balls !
This entire saga needs editing...
It also needs a major rewrite and several drafts. It's an interesting idea, but right at the start the hook is poor, and it takes more than that to get into the story. The first chapter left me cold, and uninspired.
Absolutely crazy
Kinda horrific compared to most of your stories. Kinda enjoyable in a Stephen King sort of way with the whole lobotomy thing. I'm surprised she still took with Fletcher even after he rescued her, considering he was instrumental in the beginning of the plot, as even if he was ignorant but not excessive, he was very cruel humiliating her. Then after all that, I'm sure she would be traumatised and have PTSD and not be ready for a relationship. I can see her thought processes so I can understand where you're coming from. Just gotta read Too Clever and The Lawyer now! Thanks for writing
A masterpiece
So many twists and turns. This is not erotic literature. It is just good literature. Well-done.
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