All Comments on 'Wenatchee Ch. 07-08'

Enjoyed the story and even though there was a lover for Joyce, it did end with some closure. Thanks for the submission.

Just when I became comfortable with all of the characters the story is over. Quite a shame.

I wanted to know more about Jana, Red and Anne, and how their lives went forward.

Thanks for the good read and interesting characters, plus a very good plot line.

I loved every word. Coaster2 is one of my favorite authors. Thank You for the story you shared with us.

I agree that it ended too abruptly and another chapter could have been added, but I can also see why you ended it where you did.

A minor point, the summit of the Siskiyou Mts. on I-5 is simply called Siskiyou summit. Dunsmuir is about sixty miles south and there is no pass, since it is well down in elevation in the canyon of the upper Sacramento River. I went to HS in that area, so know it well, not trying to be a smart a**.

...2AM guy. Thanks from me too.

Oh - 5!!!

One thought that came to mind was when Geoff and Joyce got together. I understood her explanation but the lingering feeling was, she never cheated on him, spent 20 years with him, loved him and the boys and yet...no tears or emotions - just, leave me and get on with your lives. That's a bit of departure from probable reality...anyway...

Great story and Thanks - Again!

The story line was good and kept my interest for the most part but I wanted it to end with a bang not a whimper.

did you Know this site is called Literotica....erotica get it? go put your story in the Saturday Evening Post...erotica get it?

With very interesting and well developed characters.

Wow the Saturday Evening Post must have gone through some big changes. Coaster 2 writes extremely well and we thank him for his contributions.

Loved the story and how you brought all of the Characters feelings and

Emotions to the fore front. Esp. Geoff and Sons.

Nice Finish too .

Guess some readers wanted the guy to be cuckolded and become a wimp. Sorry for them and their type. This was a top notch tale and hope you post more. If there is any flaming, well, "piss on them." They can just stick with JPB.

A lot of people liked this story. I found it flat and anti climatic. I'm not surprised. I tend to disagree with most of the commenters most of the time anyway. There was no real emotion anywhere in the story and I could not like or feel empathy for the husband no matter how hard I tried.

. . . a nice love story. Maybe in the hinterlands hiring employees brings just the right person with the right skills, personality and temperment to the first interview; it doesn't always happen in the big city in the IT business. Same thing with dates. Every once in a while polyana works as the underlying basis for a story. It has for you Coaster.

Very good and well-written story. I got impatient with the releases on Lit, so I decided to read the entire story on SOL. My only criticism concerning the category of Loving Wives (for Literotica) is that I don't see how it really fits that genre. Joyce did not have an affair, and she was certainly not a "loving wife" in the way she embezzled money and dropped a divorce on her family, with coldness and malice aforethought. I could fathom her behavior if she was going crazy (i.e., bipolar or something). I could also understand it were she having an affair (which would have fit the LW category). But somehow, the idea of a straight housewife, with a family, enough money from a husband with a steady job, and an apparently good job of her own just doesn't compute. Thanks very much for writing this story.

Did Jana's mother die of cancer or meningitis? Things like that in a story you hope to entertain people with are important to keep track of. I did look forward to each installment and I'm glad they came in a timely manner.

boring, the story had a good plot but as in most of your stories you try to make the characters to saintly it's like they live in a world that i have never seen and i'm 60 years old. Not to insult you but you don't tell a story very well.

This endless story has sunk under sickening sweet emotions into a bad soap opera. Wait! No! not a soap opera, that has conflict, drama, sex, anger, emotions. None of that in this story. Everybody is sweet, kind, and competent. It is a Thomas Kinkade story. Even in his evil wife, she has no character and a not very credible excuse for what she did.

No conflict, no plot, no story.

I really enjoyed all the build up of parts 1-6 but like some of the others, although i like a happy ending as much as the next person, felt that Parts 7-8 were rather anticlimactic by comparison and the story kind of faded away in what seems a rather hurried sort of childrens story where all the intrigue just disappears and they "all lived happily ever after" (apart from Joyce)!

That said, i still look forward eagerly to your next story! :)

Quite a interesting story with a number of twists and turns. Thanks for sharing it with us.

A lot of words and uninteresting side lines for a rather disappointing lot and end.

This web site is not soap opera digest. It's Literotica. So why do authors write these super long tales of woe that have virtually zero content relating to the theme of the web site? If you fancy yourself a writer of novels, go elsewhere. Sell your story. Make money. The only thing missing in this story, and too many others on this site, is an image of Fabio on the cover. Yes, people have the option to not read the story, but sometimes great stories have a build up and then a steamy finish. The reader has to spend some time reading the story to get to the meat of the matter. So writers on this site do have an obligation to not misrepresent themselves by going elsewhere. In fact, as far elsewhere as possible.

I think that the story could have been better if we knew more about Joyce on the one hand or if we knew even less on the otherhand. Joyce takes off. Ok, forget about her and focus on Geoff moving forward with his life. The way the story was written, the parts where Joyce is referenced or otherwise included in the story line were just distractions that added very little.

Since Joyce and her motivations had been a mystery throughout the previous chapters, the meeting with her at the end just seemed kind of shallow. It felt like it was thrown in because it is standard procedure in these stories to have such a scene. Don't get me wrong I enjoy these confrontation scenes in most cases. This one was a just a "dud". Joyce seemed too "matter of fact" about the whole episode. "Ok, I screwed up, my bad. Sorry about that. Tell my folks, my sons and the rest of my family to have a good life. Now leave me alone." Ironically, having the meeting with Joyce in the story here made the ending seem rushed to me.

But I appreciate Coaster2's efforts and we look forward to his next offering.

Joyce was a cold hearted bitch who held out on her husband and children for years. Her explanation at the end of the story was complete bullshit. No woman who truly cared about her husband and children would do what she did. To kiss the lying bitch at the end made the husband an absolute wuss and asshole. I don't see how he could have been married to this monster and not have a clue. To be a supposedly smart man, he was brain dead. Now that I consider the merits of this story, 2 stars was too much!

I guess you should look up the word erotic because this tale is rather a police story than anything else

Technically well done. Captured this reader's interest. Interesting story line. As usual with this author, interesting background details. But at the end, it just seemed to run out of gas and died.

Reflecting on the story, we never really knew Joyce. Hiding her income and stealing from her employer because of greed just did not fit what we knew about her. If she were using the money as blackmail payoff because she had been caught in bed with the governor's wife, it would have made more sense than doing it just for greed. The greedy person has an appetite the greed must feed. Joyce did not, as far as we knew her.

Also, in real life, when you take a bunch of people connected by employment or family ties, not EVERY one of them is a straight arrow able to walk on water. In this story, they all were too perfect. Not very realistic.

Finally, it certainly did not fit in Loving Wives. It would have been more appropriate in Non-Erotic.

Really two stories: 1) beginning and end, and 2) the middle story. So didn't do much for me.... No real mystery being solved.

jebsdad (Jerry in Washington state, USA) - I "cheated" and finished reading your story yesterday on SOL, not realizing you would complete the story by today. I enjoyed the plot as a different kind of "cheating wife" - her being seduced by greed rather than a human lover. I was surprised that the theft and trying to protect herself and her family from her crime was the reason she wanted a divorce and left. She will definitely pay for her greed, but so will her family, even if her parents, inlaws, husband, and children find a way to move on. Still a well written story that I'm glad I had the chance to read.

I LOVED THE STORY,CARRIED ME ALL THE WAY THRU. ITS A CRAZY WORLD AND WHAT SEEMS NORMALLY TO MOST IS TWISTED BY SOME. WHY STEAL WHEN EVERYTHING IS GOING RIGHT. BUT IT ALWAYS SEEM TO HAPPEN IN SOME CASES. THE POLITICIAN WHO MAKE A HUDGE SALARY SEEMS TO ALWAYS WANT MORE AND MORE DOESNT MAKE ONE HAPPY

but I was expecting more, given the build up in the first six chapters. It really grabbed my attention but then the ending was too abrupt. I just sat there staring at the word "END" thinking the end of the first half or what. You had so many different avenues that this story could have taken to make it so much more exiciting, especially with your writing skills. Joyce's explanation just didn't make any sense as far as her motivation for stealing the money given her twenty year history with her family. Very disapointing ending. You dropped the ball on the forty yard line with a clear field ahead of you. It could have been an easy score. Great writing, bad ending, two stars.

Too much time is spent on dealing with Joyce. I almost stopped reading but thankfully you stopped (mostly). After all she did it makes no sense that she is such an anchor on his emotions. Also, he says he wants to honor his vows but then breaks them anyway to sleep with Giselle. I'm glad he did. It should have happened a lot sooner with a lot less fuss.<br><br>

Look how he handles his business. He is VERY proactive and aggressive. He is also a risk taker. He hired Jana even though she didn't interview well. He hired Red even though he was coming off alcoholic rehab. In every other aspect of his life he is a doer. I could buy that he might not have been looking to date right away but once Giselle was in his life a man like him would not have been timid or slow. <br><br>

Most of the time spent on Joyce would have been better allocated to the ending. I would have been more interested in their business becoming more successful and more erotic encounters with Giselle. It is supposed to be erotic literature not a Lonely Hearts Club. We went through 4 installments and I think there was only ONE sex scene. <br><br>

Also, since the time WAS spent on Joyce her conversion back to being a reasonable person makes little sense. Protecting hubby and the boys sounds noble but from what? They weren't involved with her theft. She had her money separate. He would have been questioned but would have been cleared quickly. The boys were at no risk at all. Flailing back and forth between a stone cold bitch and a caring person isn't rational. <br><br>

However, besides the character hiccups, I found the story very readable. I would suggest you need to work on keeping your characters consistent. If a guy needs to be a bit wimpy to fit the overall plot you have to build that into his character. Not make him a Superman and then expect him to stumble over his own feet to fit the story.

Thank you for this story. I am sitting here, watching my life fall apart, with a woman who I thought was my soul mate. Not understanding what happened. This story allows me a bit of soul searching into not only what is going on, but my own feelings of the heart and soul. And that there will be a light at the end of all this. Not sure what it will be, but it does remind me of the old saying, w/o rain, one can not enjoy rainbows.

Of writing what a great read!! Thank You!!!

c,

This story, could go on? Just for the hell of it. There is more to play out. You must have had fun writing it because I certainly did reading it. Great writing.

Thanks for sharing on Lit!

x

hatw to see such a good story end, hope there is more to it!!!!!!!!!

... The ending of this one wasn't as strong as others you've done. A good story, but the end could be better.

The phrase that was used to describe Part I of this series says it best.

"An abrupt end to what was supposed to be a good story."

I don't agree that the story ended abruptly. It provided closure to the primary focus of the story.

I also disagree with some that say this site is only for erotic stories. This was a well written tale. However, I do agree that the non-erotic genre would be most appropriate.

I enjoyed this story just like I have enjoyed most of your stories.

Well done and thanks!

I hope you have'nt abanded this story yet! i have read all and had to go back many pages on lit. to find this, and would like to see a few more chapters! they were comming so fast (daily) that I thought they would go till the end! maybe mind block ha!

I enjoyed this story. I thought the characters were well-developed and the plot was interesting. I was hoping for some explanation of how and why his wife went off the rails, and greed certainly suffices. I'm looking forward to reading some other coaster2 stories!

[Gualterio]

...without valid premise, the 40 somethings spoke as if they were 70 something and what tension existed dissipated in the fog of his WAY too soon new love interest. You've written much better but thanks for the read.

I kept waiting for a money shot, where passions went wild, where there was a show down. Something! I happen to like Loving Wives stories because of the passion. Not of inserting Tab A into Slut B, but the emotions.

This...was a story. It was a good story. But if I have to work to complete it, then it's work, not fun.

That being said, it was a quality story. Well written, some research was done. I give it a three.

There was this and her acting made her eligible for some acting award. The apology should be taken in a similar light. He better off and the jail noises and color orange work for her.

only work if it is planned good. TK U MLJ LV NV

Went thru the entire series looking for the payoff that wasn't there. It could be worse.

she stole and lied but never cheated. That has to mean something. At least to somebody. I don't give a fuck. I just wasted time reading the whole series for what?

Oh well, it is what it is.

If you read comments first, don't waste your time.

HA

Part of the problem is that the Author misleads the Reader. e.g. by placing it in the 'Loving Wifes' Category, part because the chapter descriptions suggest a dynamic and a tension that in the actual is never materialised. Which is the other part of the problem: The Story is just plain boring.

How a boring Story like that ever got in the 'Hot' Category I dont know. There is just a very frightening silent audience on literotica that for example votes cuckold stories in the 'Hot' region as well.

Than of course there's the generell problem that, yes there was a wife, but come on this story had really nothing to do with the 'Loving Wifes' Category. Just change 'Business Partner' for 'Wife' and the core of the story would be exactly the same.

Not all readers are such fragile, confused little people that they can't handle a twist on a category. I wish some of these category Nazis would point us to the page on this site where it says "All Loving Wives stories have to be just like this..."

Coaster, you're one of the best writers on this site. You aren't writing for the whiners to begin with, and it's pretty clear that a whole lot of readers like your work a lot. Keep it up!

Liked it again! 5 stars, thank you for writing.

tom anon

Once his wife admits tht she filed for divorce basically because she loved him and the kids and didn't want to see them hurt because of her crime, how could he not forgive her? 20 years of marriage and he is too hurt to take her back? Hurt from what? It was all a ploy to protect the ones she loved. She was hiding the money for him. I'm not sure I understand his response. It was a very surprising twist - her explanation, that is. I thought it was brilliant. I just don't think his reaction is authentic. He went there to make sure he was over her, to get closure. Given her explanation, I don't see how closure was possible.

If she had told him she was a spy working for the government and had to fake the divorce and flee the country to protect them, would he have been more understanding? Twenty years of love thrown away quite easily. All because she committed a crime that will only cost her 3 years in jail. It is unfortunate that so many of these stories end in similar fashion.

Again, I liked the writing, loved the twist at the end, but don't understand the end.

really upgrades the law enforcement home security people. Usually they cant catch a cold running barefoot in the snow with a wet head, TK U MLJ LV NV p/s all the stars didnt lite up mlj

The ending is as strange as some of the rest pof the story so no surprise there either -

But - the explanation seems just too simple - possible I guess but too simple.

As for the forgive and forget route?

Forgive sure - let it go and he has -

Forget - not a chance - best intentions and all do not excuse the treatment - if she was protecting them and loved them and she was still stoopid enough to do all this - write a letter leave it behind so they know they are as loved as it might seem - behave like she actually gave a damn when she demanded the divorce - once he fought back - lot's of ways other than betray them and run.

The author got it right - she fucked up, she knew it, she decided her rosy future was better than her family love and life - she lost move on -

It works

But the FBI and other agencies could not find a fuck in a whore house.

just a couple of things that bothered me. It sure took him and his lawyer a long time to figure out what was happening and I wonder about a husband not seeing his wife's tax returns for three years. Seems like that would be a red flag. And if she was clever enough to embezzle the money wouldn't she be smart enough to go to a country that wouldn't extradite her? And the ending seemed a little short. I guess greed works but to give up twenty years of marriage for not that much money doesn't seem to add up. And a little more on how her boys felt at the end would have been an added bonus. All in all,a good read.

in the LW category? It is a romance/mystery story. The wife didn't love her husband the fact that she was hiding her legit assets from him is proof of that. And her excuse for the divorce is the same crap you hear from felons all the time. They hurt the people around them but they do it only for the best of reasons.

A good good read, just miscategorized. I'm not even sure it belongs on Literotica.

This is NOT an LW story! It is, very briefly, a LITTLE erotic! The story is LONG and elaborate, but all the 'good guys' are very, very good and Sweetie is HORRID!

I did not find it to be a particularly good white-collar crime story...the PoV would not permit that! Maybe as a 'what happened to my marriage' tale, it could be OK

3*

but... while a good description of a divorce it lacked the level of drama needed for such a tale.

Initially, her plans were to surprise her husband and the family with extra money and buy the business. She stated it, I believed her and I can easily understand how she would, at first, innocently fall into syphoning off a little extra cash, get a little carried away and then - realizing she was way in over her head, the thoughts and decisions to run. I think she thought long and hard about it and I don't think, even after she left, that there was ever a man in her life. The decision to protect her family and lose everything has to have been severely difficult but I gave her credit for the thought, the plan and doing what was difficult!

Sad, she's intelligent and knew, knows she gave up her family, her husband and everything important and she has to live with it all now, for another 40-50 years and that is sorrowfully sad for a woman he really loved her family!

Personally, I would wish him well with Giselle because Joyce will come to his mind quite often, he was totally in love with her and she didn't cheat and he knows she meant well and did what she thought was necessary to protect the ones she loved!

I'll agree this story shouldn't have been placed in LW but it did make for good reading!

Thanks Coaster!

Your protagonist I's a bland colorless 'nice guy' . Most men with 'nice guy syndrome get fucked in life because they have no balls and little drive so they get taken advantage of. This character is Totally uninteresting, strives and works at nothing, surrounded by 'good friends' who spout admiring complements. He's literally unreal.

Joyce could be an interesting character if the story was told from her point of view, she fought, struggled, succeeded, want to the dark side, drama, struggle...see why that would be more interesting?

Your writing is better than this story. In fairness your scores are good, so there is an audience for this.

Chilley

I liked the story. I don't think this guy was uninteresting at all. And I have to disagree with Chilley Willey that nice guys get fucked over. Being nice and being a pushover are two different things. This guy was put in a position that is rare. His marriage suddenly ended. Usually with the disillusion of marriage there is are signs that the marriage isn't happy (late nights, lack of sex, avoiding talking to each other). In his case his marriage ended like a car crash. It was abrupt and left him with more questions than answers. It is hard to move on when there is so much unanswered. Her behavior was so out of character that he didn't recognize her. While that may be a common theme in LW stories, in real life it is uncommon. He still had feelings for her that couldn't go away because he didn't have closure. The only way he could get past her was for the feelings to gradually die down over time. Because of the unanswered questions, his mind and heart kept going back looking for some kind of answers. This caused him to not be able to let go. Once he got the answers he was looking for, he was able to put that life behind him completely.

As usual people want the protagonist to go out in a hail of gunfire and fury for retribution, and they wanted the wife to be this narcissistic cheater who suffers for the rest of her life. This was a slow, steady, real to life story. No over the top revenge. No wife getting secretly gang-banged by her boss and his clients. Just a sad tale of a woman who put greed before her family.

The story shows a lot of thought and work. You kept me entertained and anxious to read the next part until the end. I wasn't looking for War and Peace.I gave it a top score which is rare for me. Thanks.

Just mindless blubber.

Well written and quite believable. I think your characters are well fleshed out, although I do think the justifications for Joyce were a trifle thin. They are believable, just not deeply enough explored?

But other wise, good stuff. More please.

A GOOD STORY BUT POSTED IN WRONG PLACE

Coaster2,

How could an apparently happy mother and wife for 20 years become a greedy embezzler? The characters in your story were as surprised as your readers in this bizarre personality change. This is one Literotica story that would actually be improved if Joyce had had an affair and wanted to leave her marriage for her lover. Without more foreshadowing or a convincing reason for her new found greed and willingness to desert her sons, Joyce is just an author's plot device and not a fully realized character.

First, I have to say I enjoyed this. It was easy to relate to the main characters complete loss of understanding as to what was happening.

I do agree that something more was needed to help us understand the wife's motives. But Not much more. She got greedy and screwed up.

My biggest issue was with a character we never even met. Gisele's sister-in-law. She has to have been the most unfortunate woman on earth. In the previous segment we learned about her succumbing to cancer and now we discover she suffered from spinal menegitis as well. IF I hadn't known about the cancer from before, the way you phrased things here might have made me thing it was the menegitis that killed her.

But I still enjoyed it and am busy working my way through your other stories as quickly as I can. Thank you for your contributions.

When I first read this story my reaction was WTF!. Then as I thought about the story I began to remember similar situations in the area where I live. Twenty-five years ago the secretary-treasurer of a local engineering firm was found to have embezzled almost a million dollars from her employer. She was the proverbial upstanding/church going/wonderful wife/mother/citizen.

Just from reading the local newspaper and watching local television news it seems that two or three embezzlers are discovered/arrested in this area every year. These embezzlers are very predominantly (90%) female. I also wonder how many are discovered that are not publicized. As I remember the story from 1988 the company that lost nearly a million dollars tried to keep the story out of the local news.

I really enjoyed this story. Not just because I live in the area, but that helped! What a fantastic amount of pain generated by a mistake that couldn't be reversed.

there will still be shards of threads remaining, TK U MLJ LV NV

YES SHE DID!

But that aside...it read well and easily. I was disappointed in the lack of substantial reasoning on Joyce's part for throwing away her marriage. Think about it...people who are greedy don't usually want it just to have it. There are usually outward signs that point to the greed: wanting (read "needing") to travel to exotic places for vacations which may increase in frequency over time, or buying big name suits for work that then evolves into buying expensive leisure clothes that are literally never worn, basically unnecessary extravagant spending and "stuff accumulation." I don't think it's human nature to start something ("I'll get a job because I want to contribute more to the quality of life for my family and children.") so altruistically and end up so selfishly ("Now that I can give everyone that I love everything, fuck them sideways with a yardstick."). I think to ring more true (and not be a plot device, as another reader pointed out) there needed to be more substance: gradual signs and bickering about money, hints of "I'm buying this because it's a treat for me and I deserve it", slow sacrificing of wants (and eventually needs) of her family (individually at first, and probably starting with the husband) for her "rewards for being such a good mother...", or expanding the greed and mindset to other areas of her life. An affair, or other change in sexual activity, becoming more a dom or slow loss of respect for her husband and their marriage until there's either no intimacy or a fetish style (on her part) cuckolding (I call out specifically the cuckolding being "fetish style" because I think there can be allowances made for extramarital sex (and emotions) without a lack of respect. Maybe the marriage is a business arrangement more than a romantic relationship. Perhaps it was a friends with benefits (the "if we're not married by the time we're 35..." Type thing) evolved to "marriage" circumstantially and they each ended up making more "friends". And I think if handled appropriately can even be a loving gesture, filling a human need for intimacy after the onset of a debilitating disease or injury, for example. Fetish style cuckolding, at least for me, is more than extramarital sex to fill a void (which most shrinks will tell you isn't about the sex), it either an avenue to unresolved homo or bisexual tendencies or desires (voluntarily eating other people's cream pies and the like) or meted out as some form of punishment.) now, I'm glad that the author didn't decide to go the route of fetish style cuckolding as I don't think the story or characters lent to it, but an affair (sexual or otherwise) I don't think is out of the question, and I think would have added to the characters and story over all.

Sorry, got a bit long winded and wordy with my reply

so many elements... well written.. the orchard valley setting was unique.. i lived and worked in orchards for years... this tale was excellent

ty

He said she didn't NEED it. He was being merciful. That's what mercy is all about, being kind to someone who doesn't deserve it.

so many unresolved issues. the parents. the sons. Giselle. the business. the future.

his advice on returning the money? - she should ask her attorney, not determine her future on his knowledge of the legal system.

Since she had already filed for divorce 5 months ago, why wouldn't his divorce petition fly right through?

if her story was true, that she was just protecting hubby and the kids, she would be more emotionally attached. Thanks for the offering.

A couple of things wrong. Why was this story even in this category? The second thing is no extradition agreement between the US and Brazil.

My guess is that the author slipped this story, which properly belongs in Non Erotic section, in the Loving Wives category, to attract more readers. Not cool and disrespectful of the readers.

If your spouse embezzles thousands of dollars and the FBI is on the case, expect them to ream you and your family out too. They will look in every nook and cranny in your life. When they are done, see how you feel about the person who stuffed them up your ass.

She wasn't saying she got greedy and didn't want to share it with her husband... she was apparently saving the money as a "gift" to them.

Granted, the thinking involved in causing them to struggle some while she stashed money in a future expectation of its use seems a bit stupid...

Anyway, the greed was in that she started thinking if the money she was saving for them was looking good then saving MORE would be better.

So she embezzled... until she finally realized she'd not thought it through very well, and tried to then protect her family from the obvious fuck-up she'd committed...

Tough to believe she could be smart enough to do so well at her job and yet at the same time so stupid as to not realize that she ran a real risk of getting caught.

Obviously, the reason her "reasons" for divorcing him made no sense to anyone was because they WEREN'T true. She'd just made up excuses to get a divorce to further her NEW well-thought out plan (read: sarcasm)...

"The second thing is no extradition agreement between the US and Brazil"

My thoughts exactly. And that's why a Brazilian passport is prized to expat/globe-hopper types. Although, she couldn't have had a legit document after only few months of parking herself there. If you want, you can put $5k in a Paraguayan bank and apply for citizenship in 3 years. But it's a helluva a long flight and very expensive, and if you go on the cheap there are bus and train rides with chicken feathers on the seats and at least one lama ride involved :))

First thing, I did not think that the husbands emotion was well elaborated until very close to the end. It wasn't that he was too cool, it definitely was something missing, but it was not exactly distracting. The writing, of course, was very good, but it always seemed better when the details of the fruit business and life in the Valley were shown.

So, now that we know wifey just got greedy, and that it wasn't that hubby had a small dick; that hubby wasn't a bad lover; that there wasn't a boyfriend, etc, etc, etc. That would mean the true tragedy is that there was actually love in this marriage but that wifey fucked it up with all of her machinations. This is the part of the story that takes away credibility from the plot. At first, the reader dislikes her and awaits the lurid details of her infidelities. But something else rather bizarre but ultimately unsatisfying takes it's place.

Just because the craft of writing is acceptable doesn't mean all of the parts add up.

And it doesn't quite add up. On the other hand, if someone does this type of thing it could easily kill a marriage. But now that hubby KNOWS it wasn't his inadequacies or similar, related problems, he still knows that his wife has love for him. That kills the feeling of closure which is necessary for the husband to live out his life without being haunted by lost love; not to mention that she will have to be at least on the periphery of there lives no matter what the story says. What? A woman is a silly, childlike bank note criminal and also just happens to lose the desire to be with her sons for the rest of her life as well? Not buying that one.

SO, that's why the prison visit scene doesn't add up. I think that when it finally dawns on a man that he was not rejected for ego-killing inadequacies then one could say that the ghost of love will remain, despite the claims of the story's voice.

One could only claim that the man will be satisfied if he had a rather perfunctory and superficial love for his wife. But one thing IS for sure: that the wife's utterly foolish crime of greed would not forever kill the love of a passionate man. If the love was truly deep, the love will remain. She is not a hateful woman. She is immature and a damn fool. For all we know she has a pussy like a blast furnace :))

The Other Woman in this story has a rather unenviable position.

One day in the very near future, the wife will lose her mind-numbing shame and like a moth to a street lamp, be drawn to the lives of her family in one way or another. And then there will always be the specter of an affair or some type of reconciliation and therefore a resurrected feeling of affection between the husband and wife...

By the way, why was this posted in Loving Wives?

I will think on it.

. . . I think not. Generally well-written, but very unsatisfying ending. 2*. I don't care about the missing sex - some of the most enjoyable stories on this site have no sex - but the ending just didn't do it for me.

I just don't understand this one.

I get the feeling like you were completely floundering and just wanted to end the story.

I can understand that. It is not where you wanted, you had no idea how to fix what you wrote before, and you just wanted it over with.

I think you know the end was completely crappy. We have no idea what the hell Joyce was all about. A complete absolute 180 in personality and behaviour.

A brain tumour would have made for a better ending and made more sense.

But, I don't think you need us to tell you this story was a flop.

Still, it wasn't all bad. But, sorry, it has to be a 2 ...

Minor thought: "Matt was unable to get away for the long weekend" - It's a 5 1/2 hour drive. Why can't he get away?

"his wife having contracted spinal meningitis many years ago" - I thought she died of cancer?

Not as good as the first parts.

The pace of the story was consistent until the ending. The ending was too a abrupt.

It almost read like the author got tired of the story or ran out of ideas (or both) and decided on a quick ending.

Overall I liked the story, good character development and a likable plot.

She says she was "saving the money for us", especially since he wanted to buy into the business, but she kept watching it grow until she got greedy. She didn't get greedy for the family, she got greedy for herself. Greed is a selfish emotion, one doesn't get greedy to share, it's an individual enhancement. She may have wanted the money to accrue and be used for something good early on, but that changed and then she was out for herself and herself alone.

She never said she loved him in their last conversation - neither did she say she loved her sons. There was no message to be carried back to her sons, nothing to be relayed to her parents. She's probably trying to figure out a way to hang on to the money she's hidden, she'll convince herself that she paid the price - she's earned that money, it belongs to her now. She's nothing more than a cheap hood, someone in a position of authority who stole from someone else.

Maybe she should run for Congress when she finally gets out - she'd fit right in.

Brazil does not have an extradition treaty with US

So will not extradite people to US

I like most of the story but at the end you screwed up.embezzlement is not a mistake it is a crime, it is done on purpose with intent. A mistake is putting a Navy blue and a black sock because you could not tell the difference. Call something what is it seems many of the authors on this sight use that word so wrong left is not a mistake an affair is not a mistake they are done by choice.

Not spectacular but not weak either. A regular working guy dealing with a broken marriage with the help of his friends.

I reread it today and remain impressed by the workmanship

RIGHT ON!! YOU CALLED IT! BULLSEYE!

The story was excellent... well done and well edited. 5 *s for most of it.

I noticed one minor fuck-up...

Paul's wife died from Cancer but they moved from Maine because she had spinal meningitis?? WTF??!!! Did she have dandruff and ingrown toenails, too?

Two things I didn't like about the ending:

1. She obviously had fucked up. But if she had been a good wife for 20 years and he realizes she was divorcing him because she had fucked up and she was trying to protect him and her sons, then it should have been possible for him to be there for her when she got out. Now it's fine if he did not, but it would have been just as fine if he did. That's a good reason that at least till the divorce was over he should have stayed away from getting emotionally involved with someone else.

2. The part I for sure didn't like is when she said she wanted the sons to stay away he should have tried to convince her otherwise. What the fuck, she didn't mass murder several people. She had a major temptation and she stole the money (mind you I look down on people that download pirated music, so it's not about taking her theft seriously). But he should have told her she was always there for her family and now that she needed them they will be there for her. Her sons needed to visit their mom. That would be good for them and HER. And nothing wrong with him visiting her now and again too if not as husband, but as a friend. The sons were not 5 years old and impressionable. They knew where the mom was. What the fuck with just putting her away out of mind out of sight? The whole family seemed very detached as he didn't take his wife leaving that hard too and the sons didn't insist on seeing her as soon as she was back in town or even during the summer. After twenty years she acts a little weird for a couple of weeks and those closest to her decide it's better to just give up on her then see what's wrong and be there for her.

This was a fairly well-written variation on divorce but the story lacked a little depth in the development of the main characters and I never felt any real empathy for the major players. The development of the minor characters was more interesting than that of the major players, who never really evolved or became more insightful during the story.

Good but not exceptional.

LA

your a cheeky buga coaster2

i like all the chapters accept the last one.

guess you got the last laugh.

riviting stuff. bloody good!!

cheers

p.s i see i can swear on here. it helps wen its positive expression.

bloody is not swearing in my book

cheers

enjoyed it. One question for you lawyers. Once she returned the stolen money, would she really not be allowed to keep the part that was hers legally? If no, why not?

Good long narrative, but unsatisfying ending. Everything ended up all tied up. Seeing a psychiatrist to find out more about why she did it. Leaving a husband, and sons for more money is a hard choice. He owed her nothing.

Such a pitiful plot and then it goes on and on about some kids getting computer job, handicapped veteran and all other BS when there is nothing to the core story. One star for this BS.

Very weak plot with far too many insignificant details.

Another quality story from you, as always.

My only complaint is it was a weak ending. Would have liked to know how their life panned out. Great writing.

not off the wall odd, but still odd. why wouldn't she want to see her kids?

most mothers go nuts without seeing their own children. she burned her bridge with her husband, but the kids would be able to forgive her with time.

the reason it's not so crazy is that she actually is crazy. maybe not crazy enough to give her any clout. she's still functional on many levels, even hyper intelligent at times. but she's clearly touched in the head a little bit. the complete disregard for others and her long term survival for short term thrills sounds like a few manic episodes. she seems very somber at the end and clear-headed. she'd have to be a coward or emotionally detached from her own children to request they never visit her. i can see myself forgiving her as a son of hers, if she indeed ran away out of some episode of minor insanity. her marriage is dead though. no excuses there. in fact the only part of this story that makes little sense is the actual divorce. why bother with it? running away with the money seemed smarter. i know people that wont take contract breakers to court because they didn't file their taxes that year. most adults know that a lengthy court battle brings financial assets into question. and her job is to deal with finances and investments. maybe that only proves how crazy she was after-all.

bizarre ending for me, but great story.

Coaster has a bad habit with the way his stories end . guess he's maybe leaving room to add on . I certainly hope so because this ended very weak

It was an interesting idea, but kind of fell down on the execution.

1) Joyce was earning nearly 100k a year anyway and had been promoted to management... 500k is peanuts compared to how much she would have earned over the next 10 years! (Let alone the 200k of assets she owned in the house).

2) there was too much focus on minor characters that added nothing to the story.

3) the husband and wife never spoke to each other after she declared she wanted a divorce (until the prison scene). That made the story dry and boring. A few heated confrontations would have spiced things up!

4) the husband "honouring his wedding vows" was ridiculous. Joyce dumped him... they were done as soon as she served him divorce papers.

5) Geoff was 40 and Gisele was about the same age. She'd never had children, so she only had a few years of fertility left and her biological clock would be going berserk! Unless she physically couldn't have children, that would be a major point of discussion between them when they started sleeping together, especially as he'd already had two kids.

It.was more than worth it. A very good story with my only.complaint being the abrupt ending.