All Comments on 'Alone with My Sister'

I think that English is a second language for this author. The storyline had promise that was totally ruined by the poor spelling and grammar. Why do so many authors spurn the use of proof-readers and editors? This trait seems prevalent among Asian and American writers, which is a pity, because their stories have real promise -especially this author, who should try again.

sorry... but this story is a little too unreal

well i got past the bad grammer and the story has potential. ending in a dream sequence was lame and seemed to just try to satisfy some itch to throw sex into the story. if this progresses as exploration and the occasional tease then leeding to a relationship then it might be good the last couple paragrapghs were a complete loss

Grammar. The word is spelled "grammar." Your comments may have been correct, but it hurts your argument when you can't spell the fucking word.

This is one of the most poorly written stories I've encountered on this web site. It's not just the grammar problems and the silly plot; the writer has no feel for language or human behavior.

1000 dollars for grocerys what the hell this story sucked just stop writing

You can improve your grammar, but don't let the comments from assholes who couldn't write a story to save their lives ruin it for you.

It takes a lot of guts to write a story and post it on the web, keep going.

If people are looking for correct English let th go to the library. I'm looking for smut.

The story had a good plot and theme. Nicely done, try wrapping it up better though. Keep writing, this can be built upon easy enough.

I hope there's a chapter two. I'm eager to read more. :)

Man keep writing dnt listen to the asshole that said stop writing, u need to continue ur work one day if u keep writing, ur will b in books

who ever said to stop writing yall need to shut up cuz ur ass didn't even have the courage to post ur story on here, so shut the fuck up and stop tryna ruin otha peoples dreams!

It was all a dream?

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

if this was just a dream then it belongs in the fantasy area NOT HERE MOVE IT NOW AND DO A REWRITE WHILE YOU ARE AT IT.

If you actually read the story you'll see that he says "That night I dreamed of one thing" so stop complaining!!!

YOU READ THE STORY THE LAST LINE SAYS " I WOKE UP" THAT MEANS IT WAS A DREAM AND BELONGS IN THE FANTASY AREA OR THE TRASH. AS IS THE WHOLE STORY SUCKS BIG TIME AND NEEDS TO BE DELETED NOW.

LEARN HOW TO WRITE.........HOW TO START THE STORY.....NO DETAILS HER AGE,BOOB SIZE,DICK SIZE ETC..........DONT WRITE ANOTHER STORY.......HOLD YOUR DICK AND FUCK YOUR OWN ASS.......READING YOUR STORY IS SUCH A WASTE OF TIME.......PITY ON THAT GIRL WHO WANNA GET FUCKED BY YOU.......

Totally stupid. Not even tittilating for an adolescent.

Throwing in more details will make the story feel more alive, that will come with more practice I'm sure. 5/5 for effort.

Your storie was intersting to Read and I hope you Decide to write more and work on your style, i would also suggest looking for someone to do some proof Read and edit for you. Hope to see more from you. Would also be intereted to see where you go with this storie